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Solving a conflict? Too soon to tell.
Aug. 15th, 2016 08:45 pmI finally had a heart to heart w/ Coal after 3-4 days of not speaking to her. She responded better than I expected her to, but still in a way I expected her to. If that makes any sense. With a little resistant and stubbornness, but in a way that acknowledges where I am coming from and making it clear that I am appreciated. At this point, I can't say if we will strengthen our bond and try to be better to each other. I hope we both learn how to be more considerate and thoughtful with each other because honestly, we all need that, you know? I was also very careful with my words, and I'm glad I was. I think if I came off mean, it would have hit too big a nerve, and create a lot of extra tension. I can better see her point of view, and how I can be unknowingly inconsiderate. I realized that her feelings are more important than my desire to poke fun or tease, for example. I guess, in a way, I'm used to pushing buttons, "playing rough" with Tom, and I am not as easily offended - but not everyone is like me, not everyone is like us. And, that's OK, and quite frankly, that is what makes each relationship unique and special.
Anyways, we really tried to dish it out, and unearth issues that I guess we haven't really been able to address due to fear of well...losing a friend. I'm still pretty surprised how much that incident hit a nerve. I didn't realize how insanely protective I am about my marriage! It's a good feeling, though. Just thinking...about how different we are, how we've got our own things going on, yet, that loyalty is there and it's strong as FUCK. In any and all situations, I would defend him and us, and that really does feel like...the bread and butter of...a lasting marriage.
In other news, I started applying for jobs on LinkedIn. I'm just trying anything at this point. I've getting so much spam texts and emails from fake scam-y jobs. Nothing real or solid coming my way.
I can't even express how much I'm hating summer and can't wait for it to be over. The heat is making me crazy. I can't really eat, I feel tired and fatigued all the time. With everything else going on - all the stress and anxiety of just not knowing what's going to happen with the landlord, where we're going to be living, ect. if I can find a job any time soon, ect. - I've just trying to keep my cool and not think about what I can't control. Do what I can, then move on, you know?
Tomorrow I plan to do quite a bit of writing. I will be making a written request for a housing program with CC (Catholic Charities), and perhaps find similar programs on the web, and send the same stuff their way too. Then I want to do some of my own writing. I'd like to revisit my play/manuscript/drama piece. I have a good idea of what I want to come next, and it's going to be good. I actually got a lot of inspiration from this article on why people date or stay with people they don't actually really like that much/can't connect with/or have much in common with at all.
I also need to figure out what I'm going to eat over the next few days. I haven't really been able to eat. I don't know what it is. I've been skipping meals, or barely eating what's on my plate. I mostly just down beverages. The closest thing to food I've been eating is protein smoothies. I'm blaming the heat, though.
Anyways, we really tried to dish it out, and unearth issues that I guess we haven't really been able to address due to fear of well...losing a friend. I'm still pretty surprised how much that incident hit a nerve. I didn't realize how insanely protective I am about my marriage! It's a good feeling, though. Just thinking...about how different we are, how we've got our own things going on, yet, that loyalty is there and it's strong as FUCK. In any and all situations, I would defend him and us, and that really does feel like...the bread and butter of...a lasting marriage.
In other news, I started applying for jobs on LinkedIn. I'm just trying anything at this point. I've getting so much spam texts and emails from fake scam-y jobs. Nothing real or solid coming my way.
I can't even express how much I'm hating summer and can't wait for it to be over. The heat is making me crazy. I can't really eat, I feel tired and fatigued all the time. With everything else going on - all the stress and anxiety of just not knowing what's going to happen with the landlord, where we're going to be living, ect. if I can find a job any time soon, ect. - I've just trying to keep my cool and not think about what I can't control. Do what I can, then move on, you know?
Tomorrow I plan to do quite a bit of writing. I will be making a written request for a housing program with CC (Catholic Charities), and perhaps find similar programs on the web, and send the same stuff their way too. Then I want to do some of my own writing. I'd like to revisit my play/manuscript/drama piece. I have a good idea of what I want to come next, and it's going to be good. I actually got a lot of inspiration from this article on why people date or stay with people they don't actually really like that much/can't connect with/or have much in common with at all.
I also need to figure out what I'm going to eat over the next few days. I haven't really been able to eat. I don't know what it is. I've been skipping meals, or barely eating what's on my plate. I mostly just down beverages. The closest thing to food I've been eating is protein smoothies. I'm blaming the heat, though.
