I think us not being able to do that in 2015 is a real mystery. We consume so much porn, yet we can't talk about our own wants and desires. At the same time, we are struggling with providing humans the necessary education and tools to protect themselves from STI's and pregnancy. This is not a good look, yall.

Why is sex still taboo in 2015?

Why is it so difficult for us to talk about sex in a way that makes us comfortable and helps us learn about our bodies and sexuality?

I've mentioned a little bit about my sex life a while back, and really, sex is a big part of my life! I am generally very open about it with my girlfriends. My husband and I...we throw down in the bedroom. When I have a new and exciting experience, I want to share it. I want my girlfriends to experience the same!

Too often do women believe sex is for men. No, sex is for us too. Big girls. Skinny girls. All of us. The married ones, the single ones. All of us.

POP PUSSIES AND BABIES OUT

Here is a little background on us:

We've been together for almost 12 years and been sexually active for about 11 1/2. We are very much obsessed with each other. I would say even more today than as teenagers. Which is hard to believe, right?!

We;re both on the chubby side, and have always been. We've actually grown especially round over the last decade. LOL! College weight. Marriage weight. You know how it goes...

But, being on the bigger side, we've had to do a lot of adjusting, a lot of finding what works for us and what REALLY REALLY works for us. When you're a bit on the heavier side, traditional sex positions may not work as well for you without being altered -- something that we'd learned over the years. For example, yes, we both adore doggy style for the deep penetration and overall control, but it doesn't work so well on a mattress because we sink in too far due to our weight. (The memory-foam doesn't help either.) So instead, I put my knees on my edge of the bed and he stands. Also, cowgirl (woman-on-top) does not work so effortlessly for us because my legs are short and his hips are just too wide.

When my girlfriends, especially those who are on the bigger side are struggling with their sex lives, I want to give them tips that really work for me but the awkward shame/shyness gets in the way. I want to be able to tell a friend "try this -- guaranteed multiple/extended orgasms!"

I want to be able to tell them they need to keep their back arched and butt up. But, this is not easy to say! At all. I don't even tell my girlfriends I've been up all night having sex. You know what I tell them instead? I've been up late "romancing". LOL!

How can we be open and honest about the good sex and the bad sex and how we can improve? How can we help each other in the bedroom without that super weird awkwardness?
Since my early teens, nightmares and anxiety-stricken dreams have been a norm for me. It started more than a decade ago. Before puberty even hit, I'd have recurring dreams about being stuck on an escalator. Every morning I'd wake up stressed and anxious.

As a teen, they became a lot more violent. In my early adulthood, around age 18, I had a dream of me taking a gun and shooting my newborn in the face. If I can recall correctly, immediately after birth. By the way, I did not have a child. I've never had children. I don't have children now. In my previous posts (and in the comments), I had briefly mentioned that I struggle with infertility. More specifically, I cannot ovulate.

Is it safe to associate depression with nightmares? As a teen, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder). It is also important to mention that mental illness runs quite deep in my family. My father is bipolar and has PTSD and OCD. I can have OCD-like behavior under stress. An example would be when someone tried to break into our apartment earlier this year. I check the front door several times an evening -- sometimes 2-3 times in a row (...get up, go check the door, go back to bed...get back up and do it again.)

Last night I had a dream that left me anxious and stressed. It was a nightmare all in itself. I had a dream that my marriage fell apart. It was pathetic, to say the least. We appeared very shallow in personality -- fighting over petty things. The focus of our fight was on sexual performance which is kind of...well...pathetic! We complained to each other about not preforming to the standard and also becoming unattractive to each other. (Isn't that pathetic?) I know I keep using that word, but it best describes how I feel about it. I woke up sad and feeling...PATHETIC.

We have a relatively fulfilling and fun sex life -- even for a couple who has been rocking the bedpost for nearly 12 years. I could probably have more sex, but not in a way that...I harbor feelings about it. Or, even think about it. Personally, I don't hold such value to sex and I don't suffer when I don't have it. But, at the same time, I also recognize that I have a pretty active sex-drive, and I could have some unconscious thoughts about it. I am also going through hormonal changes as a result of my reproductive health.

Any clue as to why I have regular nightmares and dreams that cause anxiety and/or what could have possibly encouraged the dream I had last night about my marriage?

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