december_solstice

So much has happened. So much has changed. I don't even know where to start.

A little over a month ago, we almost got evicted from our apartment. Up to that point, I had seeked assistance both through government social services and nonprofit agencies. Both were not very helpful or useful, but government services were impossible and have been impossible almost exclusively. I knew the day I went to apply for supplementary assistance to avoid an eviction the entire system was rigged, and I don't mean that lightly. I spent all day in an office, was told I would receive emergency assistance that was never offered. Try to rectify the situation was impossible. My case was essentially ignored. This experience has further cemented how I feel about the welfare system in the U.S. It doesn't work. Period. It doesn't work for an honest, working, young person. It just doesn't and hasn't for a very long time.

My husband got let go from his job because the school didn't want to spend the money on arts and rec./after school programs, and other types of "non-essentials". It makes me sad for both us and his students. Soon after he was laid off, my parents came to visit us and honestly if it weren't for that, I think I would be in a worst spot today. I really needed some rejuvenation and QT with my parents. As of right now, we're, for the most part, up to date on our rent and bills, but I've been applying TIRELESSLY to different jobs. It has not been fruitful.

I try to think that this is all happening for a reason, and perhaps I need to take a closer look at what I'm trying to do, what I am currently doing, and how I can get into a more productive daily groove. I want to focus on a project and commit 100% while.

Lately, I've just been focusing on myself - my blog, my spending/money management, keeping the spaces around me tidy and clean, my health, and just overall trying to improve different aspects of my life. I really want to start writing again and it's a big goal for me. Yoga is also a big goal for me. I made progress in the past. Not HUGE progress, but progress none-the-less, and I want to get back to where I was in terms of strength, flexibility and overall wellness.

I've decided to stop applying randomly. It hasn't helped me. In all honestly, it's done the exact opposite. I've instead attracted tons of multi-lvl-marketing type jobs, while getting nonstop calls and emails from fraud/scam job agencies. I mean seriously. Starting Monday, I'm going to set a career/job goal, and focus on that. I think this also makes me appear more serious about the type of work I am trying to get into. I know what I want, and what I want is what I know. I want to work in academia. Right now? Just as administrative work because this is where an ample amount of my background is in. I have 2.5 years of background in that area. I loved it. I love learning. I love higher ed. My ultimate goal is to find a high enough salary to pay off my debts from undergrad and complete that MFA (online preferably). I want that.

I still need to check the application status of the jobs from TNS and NYU. That is something I need to write on my to-do list!

In terms of to-do lists - I legit 100% KNOW that having a planner, and sticking to it, is probably the most beneficial thing for me in terms to staying on course and getting things done. I took the initiative in printing out some sheets online, and then making an order for a brand new planner starting July 2016.

So far? I love it. Here is what the first page looks like:

I also need to get a hold of Stella (old coworker - awesome/and only friend in NYC). I really should give her a call. And, I should make plans to see her. I also want to go to the Zoo/ and Central Park next week. I have a lot of plans. I've got write them down.

I also need to call my insurance and hopefully go back to Dr. Talati (my OBGYN), need to get my husband to a dentist too, and get the care I need for my hormonal imbalances. I have not had a period. I assume I have not been ovulating either. I need to eat my vegetables. I need to drink water. I need to do a lot of things, apparently.