december_solstice

Yesterday I had a conversation about relationships and gender roles on a thread on Facebook. There were several different people with different understandings of this photo.

My initial reaction to photos like this is — wow, this is ridiculous — and a man must have wrote it (Lol!)

But, I also realize that this sort of way of thinking is not at all out of the ordinary for a lot of people. The above picture finds a way to jazz up traditional gender roles (housewife and bread winner). It celebrates it! I’m unsure how I feel about that. It’s kind of misleading.

Women aren’t inherently “made” to serve their partners or spouses.

Truth of the matter is, there is many ways to have a relationship, whether you prefer traditional gender roles, or more liberal ones. For me, I prefer to share all responsibilities. In situations where that just isn’t viable, consideration and collaboration between you and your partner must occur. Without it, you cannot maintain equality within your relationship.

What really struck me is the amount of religious dogma shared about the above image!

Snippets of these comments include, “According to the scripture…” this and that.

This is my thing: If you want to share in a discussion, I think we owe it to the people we’re discussing with to provide thoughtful responses. I know I say this a lot...thoughtful this, thoughtful that, but it's such a fucking peeve of mine. It's like people don't think before they talk...er, type.

In this case, if you were thoughtful, you’d immediately realize religious ideals and values cannot be applied to everyone because alas, not everyone shares the same faith. To a person who doesn’t follow your religion, this serves as…well absolutely nothing. It’s empty claims. Not to mention, values based on religion tend to be very traditional. Sometimes those values clash with universal concepts of equal rights, equality, consent, right-to-body, right-to-self, body-ownership — the list goes on.

I’ve come to the conclusion that, heck, the only thing that REALLY matters, regardless of where your values stem from, is that you are extending equal rights and consent with your partner. No one should be doing anything against their will and/or without consideration/collaboration with their partner. That is the kind of ideal that should be shared and encouraged.

There is no right or wrong way to have a relationship as long as both parties agree on what way that is. This applies to concepts of monogamy and polygamy, and gender roles.

Open relationships are okay.
Multiple partners are okay.
One partner for life is okay.
Stay-at-home dads are okay.
Stay-at-home moms are okay.
It’s all okay as long as you’re both okay with it.