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Sep. 2nd, 2016 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
december_solstice9.2.16
I can't believe how quickly this week has passed us by.
Woke up around noon-ish. Went to the grocery store and bought a lot of veggies and fruits including this ginormous head of cauliflower, tons of fresh corn, and these amazing tangerines! I made a big pot of chili when we got home. I'm feeling very good today.
TMI: I had really good sex last night (probably why I'm in such a good mood LOL!)
However, I've noticed that the last 2-3 times I've had intercourse there has been slight pain on the left side of my vagina. I'm assuming is an angle problem and not being lined up well in doggy-style (most likely scenario), but I can't be sure. Truth be told, I really can't take a beating the way I used to lmfao. Which is kind of sad - I'm only 26. I should be able to handle it. So, really, an hour + of sex is going to leave me feeling sore. I don't think it's an arousal/vaginal lubricant issue either, because it does not feel dry or tight, though, we do have lube we often never use. I don't think it's a labia getting stuck/tangled (because my labia just isn't...capable of that) - I literally have the vagina of a baby. LOL. It really could be a number of things. Stress/tension, medical problem, ect. I'm a bit concerned. I would hate for this to be an issue. MORE REASON to get my ass to an OBGYN. Ugh. Getting impaled by another pole up my lady parts is inevitable - better now than later, right? LOL.
In other news, very little to no progress has been made with our landlord. It's been more than a week since our attorney send out a correspondence on our behalf and we have heard absolutely nothing. It is very unlikely we'll hear anything until after the Labor Day holiday, either. If ever.
We sent both an email as well as a letter by mail, so I know it was received. Nothing has changed. At all. We were simply sent another bill with the same illegal charges that include an overcharge to the rent, legal fees, late fees, and an air conditioning fee. I guess at this point, I'm not surprised. Over time, I've kind of come to realize he has been and will continue to try and extort more money from us, and deny our rights as rent stabilized tenets and deny that the lease was renewal in March. I mean, in the end, joke really is on him. He thinks we're stupid and unaware of our rights. He thinks we don't have the brains or the access to information. He thinks we'll bend and pay him whatever amount of money he decides through constant intimidating and confusion. It is a possibility to actually sue him for over-payment, not up-keeping our apartment, withholding our right to mail (by not fixing the mailboxes or intercom) and not adhering to the lease. I can even push emotional distress because of the stress and anxiety I've had to live with on a daily basis. At this point, I can't even muster up enough courage to leave the house alone. I am that spooked by him.
Even with all of that happening, I don't know, I'm starting to get through it. I'm starting to accept it.
Today, I even kind of laughed it off a little, thinking, well, yes, this is unpleasant, but shit like this happens and well fuck, it's gotta happen to someone. It's like everything else. I always think to myself...it's gotta happen to someone and that someone can always be you.
I gotta remind myself that we made the choice to remove ourselves from a safety of our family's nest. We took the risks. We came here. By ourselves. With little to no safety net. We took that giant leap to NYC of ALL PLACES. We made the choices. We took the risks. We put ourselves out there. It comes with a price, you know? The harder you push, the more likely you'll face resistance. That's just how it is. Those risks could even be very well calculated. It doesn't matter.
This isn't the 80's or the 90's. This isn't your parents doing the same thing 20 years ago. It is insanely difficult to make it by yourself if you are a young person today. However, I still think we can make it work. In my heart, I do truly believe that we're smart enough, creative enough, clever enough, strong enough, a a strong enough team ect. to do the damn thing.
Truth be told, I need to be better. That's all it is. WE BOTH NEED TO BE BETTER. My husband and I are so beat up by the world already. I think we tired, tbh. As for me, I need to pull myself up, I need to push myself harder. I need to stick to a schedule. I need to be more disciplined. I have to work harder than everybody else. That's the thing, you know? We're all trying to get ahead but there just isn't enough room for everyone to be ahead at once. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's wrong. And, in NO WAY, should that be acceptable, but someone's gotta actually GET AHEAD first, in order to change things from within.
At the same time, I really do think I need to take care of me a lot better. Like, I NEED TO. I can't neglect myself anymore.
I can't believe how quickly this week has passed us by.
Woke up around noon-ish. Went to the grocery store and bought a lot of veggies and fruits including this ginormous head of cauliflower, tons of fresh corn, and these amazing tangerines! I made a big pot of chili when we got home. I'm feeling very good today.
TMI: I had really good sex last night (probably why I'm in such a good mood LOL!)
However, I've noticed that the last 2-3 times I've had intercourse there has been slight pain on the left side of my vagina. I'm assuming is an angle problem and not being lined up well in doggy-style (most likely scenario), but I can't be sure. Truth be told, I really can't take a beating the way I used to lmfao. Which is kind of sad - I'm only 26. I should be able to handle it. So, really, an hour + of sex is going to leave me feeling sore. I don't think it's an arousal/vaginal lubricant issue either, because it does not feel dry or tight, though, we do have lube we often never use. I don't think it's a labia getting stuck/tangled (because my labia just isn't...capable of that) - I literally have the vagina of a baby. LOL. It really could be a number of things. Stress/tension, medical problem, ect. I'm a bit concerned. I would hate for this to be an issue. MORE REASON to get my ass to an OBGYN. Ugh. Getting impaled by another pole up my lady parts is inevitable - better now than later, right? LOL.
In other news, very little to no progress has been made with our landlord. It's been more than a week since our attorney send out a correspondence on our behalf and we have heard absolutely nothing. It is very unlikely we'll hear anything until after the Labor Day holiday, either. If ever.
We sent both an email as well as a letter by mail, so I know it was received. Nothing has changed. At all. We were simply sent another bill with the same illegal charges that include an overcharge to the rent, legal fees, late fees, and an air conditioning fee. I guess at this point, I'm not surprised. Over time, I've kind of come to realize he has been and will continue to try and extort more money from us, and deny our rights as rent stabilized tenets and deny that the lease was renewal in March. I mean, in the end, joke really is on him. He thinks we're stupid and unaware of our rights. He thinks we don't have the brains or the access to information. He thinks we'll bend and pay him whatever amount of money he decides through constant intimidating and confusion. It is a possibility to actually sue him for over-payment, not up-keeping our apartment, withholding our right to mail (by not fixing the mailboxes or intercom) and not adhering to the lease. I can even push emotional distress because of the stress and anxiety I've had to live with on a daily basis. At this point, I can't even muster up enough courage to leave the house alone. I am that spooked by him.
Even with all of that happening, I don't know, I'm starting to get through it. I'm starting to accept it.
Today, I even kind of laughed it off a little, thinking, well, yes, this is unpleasant, but shit like this happens and well fuck, it's gotta happen to someone. It's like everything else. I always think to myself...it's gotta happen to someone and that someone can always be you.
I gotta remind myself that we made the choice to remove ourselves from a safety of our family's nest. We took the risks. We came here. By ourselves. With little to no safety net. We took that giant leap to NYC of ALL PLACES. We made the choices. We took the risks. We put ourselves out there. It comes with a price, you know? The harder you push, the more likely you'll face resistance. That's just how it is. Those risks could even be very well calculated. It doesn't matter.
This isn't the 80's or the 90's. This isn't your parents doing the same thing 20 years ago. It is insanely difficult to make it by yourself if you are a young person today. However, I still think we can make it work. In my heart, I do truly believe that we're smart enough, creative enough, clever enough, strong enough, a a strong enough team ect. to do the damn thing.
Truth be told, I need to be better. That's all it is. WE BOTH NEED TO BE BETTER. My husband and I are so beat up by the world already. I think we tired, tbh. As for me, I need to pull myself up, I need to push myself harder. I need to stick to a schedule. I need to be more disciplined. I have to work harder than everybody else. That's the thing, you know? We're all trying to get ahead but there just isn't enough room for everyone to be ahead at once. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's wrong. And, in NO WAY, should that be acceptable, but someone's gotta actually GET AHEAD first, in order to change things from within.
At the same time, I really do think I need to take care of me a lot better. Like, I NEED TO. I can't neglect myself anymore.
