december_solstice

People aren't objects. You cannot own them. Your partner or husband is a complex person with parts of him/her that exist outside of your relationship.

Real unconditional love is utter and complete freedom.

I am not afraid to admit that I have a large and fulfilling life outside of my marriage.

I have always loved my husband in this way. Our loyalty to each other is at the center of our relationship. I also realize that our relationship is just a small snippet of our lives.

Why make a single person your entire life when life is more than a single person? (That's a lot of pressure.) (It's also unfair to expect your partner to fulfill every aspect of your life that you should be filling yourself and through other means.) Life is more than your relationship with your partner. Life is also your passions, your interests, your community, your family, your friendships, your career -- your place in the world. My husband might not be my entire world, but he is still the best thing in it.

I want my husband to build a life for himself that exists completely separate from us. I want him to have fulfilling relationships with other people -- friends, family members, ect. I want him to develop his self and to own it. I want him to go out and enjoy his life guilt-free. I want him to go and have fun with his friends and make sure he cultivates THAT part of his life.

Why do I do this? For one, it teaches independence and avoids dependency. But really when it comes down to it, this is what I'd want in return. I'd want the same encouragement and the same freedom and the same unconditional love.

He is not my property. I am not his property. We chose this, our love, everyday.

'If you let your husband do whatever he wants, he'll just go out and cheat on you.' In my opinion, if you're worried about this, then your relationships is already over. You shouldn't have to tell your partner to NOT cheat on you. Nor should you have to mother your spouse like a child.

People also fear that if their partner does not need them, they will leave them. That is not the case. You don't love people for what they can give you. Unconditional love doesn't work that way.

I realize that a lot of people cannot get on board with this. People are afraid of this, but I also think people want to be possessive. They want to OWN someone. They want to hoard a person's love and attention and not allow anyone else to receive it. This is also common in female friendships. "That's my bff, not yours."

What are your thoughts? Do you think I'm wayyy off? Am I interpreting jealousy a bit harshly? Do you think every relationship should have a healthy amount of jealousy and possessiveness? If so, why?