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Jun. 14th, 2017 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
december_solstice6/14/2017
Yesterday, I was using my phone and texted out an entire Dreamwidth post before I managed to back out of the page and lose the entire thing! The only time I decide to write directly on Dreamwidth and not copy and paste my post from another word processor...sigh*
Last night, I figured out how to connect my laptop to my phone via Bluetooth so I'm going to see what I can do with this. It should be possible for me to write things up on here - upload a text doc. to my phone, copy and paste it into Dreamwidth, Hubpages, and anything else, really. I also want to see if I can do some self-advertisement (for my writing) on my phone. I've also made a commitment to myself that I'd start sharing my writing, and writing FB posts again. Or at least try and see where it goes.
I love and hate this weather. I'm sticky and want to shower, but that summer breeze is so nice. Speaking of, I think I'm going to go shower before I finish this.
That's better.
It's been about a week since my last post and the biggest accomplishment for this past week is probably the amount I've been writing. I wrote about 12 pages over the last few days. I also hella deep-cleaned this entire apartment. The one thing I like about living in a studio-size apartment is it's very easy to clean. In the future, I would probably be satisfied if we had a small kitchen with just a stove, fridge, and a sink. When we do finally move, I think I'm going to only buy a (long) table and 2 chairs, as well as a mattress. Keep it small, keep it simple, etc.
I've also been thinking quite a bit about how long we will be here, realistically. I really want to find work by myself, even if it's just a part-time job, before going back to HRA. I really do want us to have more income before we get a housing voucher. In the meantime, I'm crossing my fingers that we may possibly be transferred out. Best case scenario is we get transferred out of here and into a place with a small kitchen. Big plus if they allow us to bring internet into the unit. Of all the obstacles we currently live with, I feel that not being able to cook our own food is our biggest financial and health/wellness barrier, and it really is a basic necessity. I can really see it first hand now why the concept of "housing first" is so vital to getting people back on their feet and in a good place financially so they can actually maintain it long term.
The articles I have been writing for HubPages this week have been about building routines for creative work and unplugging from the internet. This was all inspired by a book I have been reading on my Kindle. I've actually been reading quite a bit this week! I DL-ed 10 books! Some are poetry, majority is literature. I regret not DLing more non-fiction because I haven't been in the mood for stories and stuff lately. I doubt I'll actually get through them all before the Kindle Unlimited trial expires. LOL. Anyway, reading and writing about this topic has been very insightful. I know that I often talk about trying to increase productivity, and I really do think unplugging has been a huge factor. And sadly, that includes distancing myself from Nicole as well. It's kind of sad, but I know it's necessary. At one point, I'd spend all day talking to her, and although I miss it, I know this is better for me, at least for a while, although I really do hope I can establish some better habits now while I am living here.
Here is my to-do list for the remainder of the week:
Apply for jobs more regularly (on my phone). Try different apps such as Zip Recruiter and Monster. Write up another generic cover letter and save it in my Notepad.
Email back MyAccount (tuition balance)
Get an appointment for the ultrasound for next week. I know, I'm slow on this. It's always with the stupid calls, I swear.
**Important** Help/Proofread my aunt's essay (due Sunday). I want to get it to her early. It's not very long - it's like not even 2 pages, and it does need help with grammar, sentence structure, formating, ect. (but it's not a disaster).
I might also run some errands, pick up a few things, etc. I'll probably do another small load of laundry at some point in time, but that isn't happening today because it's already late. Before that, I need to pick up more dryer sheets, though I'm considering buying liquid softener instead. I think it's most effective. Maybe. I might be wrong - depends how much a small bottle costs. I honestly should just buy a big size already, when it's on sale, because I'm doing laundry nearly once a week, and I can cut costs by not spending another $3 on detergent and softener each week (along with the $5 to wash/dry). BTW, this is actually really affordable in comparison to other places. I've spent like...$25 each time I've gone to do laundry when we used to do our own laundry. Probably helps that we're not in Manhattan. Although, I would not miss an opportunity to live there again - foolishly of me, of course. I probably shouldn't. It's too expensive.
Saturday, we (or Thomas) will probably go to Brooklyn to see his Grandma and Luna. I will suggest to pick her up another sizeable bag of cat food. On Sunday, we have another follow-up appointment with our social worker in the basement.
Thomas only has about a week and a half left of work before Summer Break. I'm not sure how long he's off, but he should probably try and find some work in the meantime. If I could find a job quick enough, he may as well just ride it out for a month, because school is back in session first of August. I personally don't think it's worth it. Money will be tight though. I do think we would be OK, though with our food stamps and a little help from my Mom for a month. If we had some money, we'd have more opportunity to enjoy the summer - and I really want to enjoy it this year. I'd like to go to the Zoo once, and also to the beach. Both are cheap outings that would cost us less than $10! I was going to suggest to Thomas that we can simply pick up drinks and a deli sandwich with our food stamps, and bring a towel. Bam. Done.
Speaking of $$$, we're going to be tighter on cash for the next two weeks (but not really, because our food stamps just popped). I got $200 in cash today, and we have $250 in food stamps. We're getting about $300 (maybe a little bit more) tomorrow. The only bill we have is our phone bill which is $75 and due Sunday. The only other big expense is food and transportation. My mom is tight on money so I can't bother her much for any. I bought some vitamins today and spent $5 for lunch. I also gave Thomas money to refill his metro card. I believe I'm already down to $160. The plan is to spend no more than $20 a day (for both of us). And, to use food stamps for AT LEAST half of our purchases. If we do that, we should be spending approx. $50-70/week with food stamps and the same amount in cash. Which is more than enough to get us through 2-weeks.
Yesterday, I was using my phone and texted out an entire Dreamwidth post before I managed to back out of the page and lose the entire thing! The only time I decide to write directly on Dreamwidth and not copy and paste my post from another word processor...sigh*
Last night, I figured out how to connect my laptop to my phone via Bluetooth so I'm going to see what I can do with this. It should be possible for me to write things up on here - upload a text doc. to my phone, copy and paste it into Dreamwidth, Hubpages, and anything else, really. I also want to see if I can do some self-advertisement (for my writing) on my phone. I've also made a commitment to myself that I'd start sharing my writing, and writing FB posts again. Or at least try and see where it goes.
I love and hate this weather. I'm sticky and want to shower, but that summer breeze is so nice. Speaking of, I think I'm going to go shower before I finish this.
That's better.
It's been about a week since my last post and the biggest accomplishment for this past week is probably the amount I've been writing. I wrote about 12 pages over the last few days. I also hella deep-cleaned this entire apartment. The one thing I like about living in a studio-size apartment is it's very easy to clean. In the future, I would probably be satisfied if we had a small kitchen with just a stove, fridge, and a sink. When we do finally move, I think I'm going to only buy a (long) table and 2 chairs, as well as a mattress. Keep it small, keep it simple, etc.
I've also been thinking quite a bit about how long we will be here, realistically. I really want to find work by myself, even if it's just a part-time job, before going back to HRA. I really do want us to have more income before we get a housing voucher. In the meantime, I'm crossing my fingers that we may possibly be transferred out. Best case scenario is we get transferred out of here and into a place with a small kitchen. Big plus if they allow us to bring internet into the unit. Of all the obstacles we currently live with, I feel that not being able to cook our own food is our biggest financial and health/wellness barrier, and it really is a basic necessity. I can really see it first hand now why the concept of "housing first" is so vital to getting people back on their feet and in a good place financially so they can actually maintain it long term.
The articles I have been writing for HubPages this week have been about building routines for creative work and unplugging from the internet. This was all inspired by a book I have been reading on my Kindle. I've actually been reading quite a bit this week! I DL-ed 10 books! Some are poetry, majority is literature. I regret not DLing more non-fiction because I haven't been in the mood for stories and stuff lately. I doubt I'll actually get through them all before the Kindle Unlimited trial expires. LOL. Anyway, reading and writing about this topic has been very insightful. I know that I often talk about trying to increase productivity, and I really do think unplugging has been a huge factor. And sadly, that includes distancing myself from Nicole as well. It's kind of sad, but I know it's necessary. At one point, I'd spend all day talking to her, and although I miss it, I know this is better for me, at least for a while, although I really do hope I can establish some better habits now while I am living here.
Here is my to-do list for the remainder of the week:
Apply for jobs more regularly (on my phone). Try different apps such as Zip Recruiter and Monster. Write up another generic cover letter and save it in my Notepad.
Email back MyAccount (tuition balance)
Get an appointment for the ultrasound for next week. I know, I'm slow on this. It's always with the stupid calls, I swear.
**Important** Help/Proofread my aunt's essay (due Sunday). I want to get it to her early. It's not very long - it's like not even 2 pages, and it does need help with grammar, sentence structure, formating, ect. (but it's not a disaster).
I might also run some errands, pick up a few things, etc. I'll probably do another small load of laundry at some point in time, but that isn't happening today because it's already late. Before that, I need to pick up more dryer sheets, though I'm considering buying liquid softener instead. I think it's most effective. Maybe. I might be wrong - depends how much a small bottle costs. I honestly should just buy a big size already, when it's on sale, because I'm doing laundry nearly once a week, and I can cut costs by not spending another $3 on detergent and softener each week (along with the $5 to wash/dry). BTW, this is actually really affordable in comparison to other places. I've spent like...$25 each time I've gone to do laundry when we used to do our own laundry. Probably helps that we're not in Manhattan. Although, I would not miss an opportunity to live there again - foolishly of me, of course. I probably shouldn't. It's too expensive.
Saturday, we (or Thomas) will probably go to Brooklyn to see his Grandma and Luna. I will suggest to pick her up another sizeable bag of cat food. On Sunday, we have another follow-up appointment with our social worker in the basement.
Thomas only has about a week and a half left of work before Summer Break. I'm not sure how long he's off, but he should probably try and find some work in the meantime. If I could find a job quick enough, he may as well just ride it out for a month, because school is back in session first of August. I personally don't think it's worth it. Money will be tight though. I do think we would be OK, though with our food stamps and a little help from my Mom for a month. If we had some money, we'd have more opportunity to enjoy the summer - and I really want to enjoy it this year. I'd like to go to the Zoo once, and also to the beach. Both are cheap outings that would cost us less than $10! I was going to suggest to Thomas that we can simply pick up drinks and a deli sandwich with our food stamps, and bring a towel. Bam. Done.
Speaking of $$$, we're going to be tighter on cash for the next two weeks (but not really, because our food stamps just popped). I got $200 in cash today, and we have $250 in food stamps. We're getting about $300 (maybe a little bit more) tomorrow. The only bill we have is our phone bill which is $75 and due Sunday. The only other big expense is food and transportation. My mom is tight on money so I can't bother her much for any. I bought some vitamins today and spent $5 for lunch. I also gave Thomas money to refill his metro card. I believe I'm already down to $160. The plan is to spend no more than $20 a day (for both of us). And, to use food stamps for AT LEAST half of our purchases. If we do that, we should be spending approx. $50-70/week with food stamps and the same amount in cash. Which is more than enough to get us through 2-weeks.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-15 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-06-15 05:05 pm (UTC)Im guessing overtime you also adjust to it and get faster. I see people all the time with tablets and a little keyboard and think this would be an awesome middle ground if it had a data plan lol....
no subject
Date: 2017-06-15 05:39 pm (UTC)This is a reply to that post you had earlier this morning about Americans (lol).
Personally, I don't think it's "racist". Judgemental at worst. TBH I think you're right. Americans are so weird about stuff like that. They will listen to Dr. Oz on TV, who isn't even a credible source, yet, they won't listen to real people, heck, a good portion of them don't trust doctors, they think the "internet is lying", and other really bizarre shit. If you asked the to do research, they wouldn't know how to. They're unable to comprehend that there is a bigger world outside of America, outside of what they see on TV, and people live differently, and they're happier, healthier, and ultimately better off socially and economically in other places. But, instead, they have this weird sense of pride. They think everyone is jealous of their freedom - this is a real thing. LOL. Sometimes it seems like, it's just some people, but I'm noticing it's most people.
Not a lot of people want to actually do anything about their circumstances, they just want others to know they're suffering and to blame it, to yell about it, instead of sitting down and really critically thinking about what steps I could take to change my outcomes.
My best friend is like this, in a lot of ways. She wasn't always this way, and I really do think it has a lot to do with her diet and lifestyle. AND, she knows this. That's the thing! She used to be really fit. She used to eat really well. But, I think she gained like, 50+ lbs or something, fell into a kind of slump, and her diet is MOSTLY fast food.
She has really weak willpower. I think a lot of people do. When something isn't working for her, she can't let go.
I mean, it's not only diet, like you said, it's a lot of things, but it sure contributes. I mean, c'mon, I'm homeless, technically, and I still manage to make the best effort to avoid fast food, to avoid junk, to eat as well as I possibly can within my means (as you do too)... because I know that if I don't, my health will suffer, and when you don't feel well, you don't get much done. Like, I really want to find ways to introduce fermented foods since you mentioned it, because I have poor digestion, but it's just not happening right now.
I've been thinking a lot about things like online communities, SJWs, memes, and the popularity of nihilism - and all these other weird phenomenons arising specifically in American youth culture. In a way, I notice the intelligence attached it, and yeah, I do think young people are self-aware, they're culturally and socially aware, have potential, but are rarely doing much about it. More importantly though, just how useless all of this is. You know? Like, American youth is very pessimistic, yet, they believe highly of themselves - they think they're always right, they believe they're in the know, very stubborn, for sure, and I do believe it is a direct correlation to the attitude of their parents, culture, social and economic realities, and the media, etc.
Like, this person you're describing behaves, IMO, very commonly to my same-age peers, and the even my parents and their generation. And, it really does feel like it's everyone. More and more, as I gain these outside perspectives, like, from you, for example, I want to desperately pull away from it. I don't want to be that, or be part of that, and I see it everywhere. I feel like it holds me back from becoming better. In comparison to small scale welfare culture, how people are here in the shelter, I feel a real resistance, tbh.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-15 06:43 pm (UTC)i too feel like it's holding me back. i mean, you're influenced - whether you like it or not - by who you're around. if the whole country's one way then you're going to end up that way too and instead of getting worse i want to get better. i've been thinking for YEARS now that i need to just stop using english entirely so i can't even meet these people, but other than general frustration i haven't really had any reason to quit using english (it's still harder to use swedish, and i don't actually care about getting any better at swedish). plus i also used to have a lot more hope for "foreigners who speak english" not being americanized and stuff, now i know i shouldn't have much hope there either. people are watching a TON more american TV and stuff than they did even just 5 years ago now and their eating's getting more and more americanized too.
now that i'm going to be in japan for a year and theoretically almost never online i think i'd better give "avoiding everything english" a shot. i'll still post on a couple places but i'm going to replace my twitter, probably quit skype almost entirely (japanese people use "line" anyway) etc... i don't want to sit here for 50 years mad at the english-speaking world, i just want to leave it and live happily if that's what it takes. i mean, it's even just simple stuff like, an american posted on a japanese-learning community here on DW that i'm on, and i went to help them and they couldn't even read what i wrote or follow my directions basically, and then i went to their blog and saw that they're so approving of/comfortable with the american military that they literally are afraid of living in a place where there's no strong military community...? what the heck?
plus the longer this stuff goes on the more i know literally everyone on a bad diet is crazy. EVERYONE has panic attacks, super bad health, mental diseases, gets angry super easily or can't understand even simple sentences (their brains are so messed up they have no reading/listening comprehension left), and usually is really lazy and depressed. like, why should i live in a way where i have to deal with these people every time i want to talk to someone. and again it's not that i hate "everyone", it's just... i'm so tired of dealing with hopeless people. i try helping people OVER and OVER and then no one takes my advice on anything, for example. i'm not so conceited that i think i'm always right but c'mon, if you're a normal person with a normal salary living in an apartment you can try making sourdough one time and see how you like it. it doesn't hurt. i don't know why these people think it hurts. sigh.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-16 03:47 am (UTC)Yeah, I figured you deleted it since you mentioned that in the post. I saw it earlier in the day, and actually typed up a reply, but didn't get around to uploading it until you deleted it. LOL.
I don't blame you for wanting to distance yourself, and tbh, I think you should. You're super resilient, special even ( though we both know it shouldn't be THIS rare to find someone like yourself) but, of course, you're still human, and I think it's fantastic that you can at least recognize these influences. You get A LOT of negative influence thrown at you, at home too, but this you can sort of control. You can control the people you follow/interact with online, etc. I had thought a lot about moving overseas since the Trump campaign. I think I mentioned it to you - I wanted to try and immigrate to your country.
Frankly, I haven't met ANYONE, (and I've said this already I'm pretty sure), I haven't met a single person like you. And, it's probably because I'm American LMFAO. As cliche as it sounds, it really is inspirational. I think, hey, if you're doing you, I can do me too, you know? If you're doing all of this, under your circumstances, I can too. And, it's really is nice to have someone to relate to in ways I really can't with most people. I mean, I don't know anyone who would even consider doing or making time for creative work or work on various projects. Because it's work. Fuck, it's probably more work than their jobs, you know? But, I genuinely want to work hard on these things. This is what I do, who I am, etc. and why not do something I love, I'm good at - something productive, that has purpose and meaning for my future... than do nothing at all?
I think you have a real knack for languages/language learning/teaching - like, I've said this already I'm sure, and it's not because I'm a friend, but I saw it when I read part of your language book you shared with me. I thought, immediately, you're onto something here. I'm dyslexic, and many suggest it's impossible for me to pick up other languages (probably not entirely true, I mean, I can read and write just fine now), but things were literally clicking in my brain! Like, it's a big deal.
You don't necessarily need to give up English. I mean, it's still great that it's your first language. Lots of people all over the world speak English, and it's ironically, it's probably going to be your strongest connection to all types of people.
I had no clue that the U.S. had that big of a influence internationally, but then I thought, well, everyone I know who lives overseas uses the same websites - a lot of the same media - Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, Netflix...
I'm still going to stick to Facebook just because I don't want to lose the connections I have to back home, but I may actually heavily purge my friends list. Even now, I recently returned to Tumblr, and again, I want to purge my follow list. LOL.
Let's definately stay connected while you're in Japan. I hope you take a lot of pictures and blog a little bit (or vlog?) so I can keep up with your adventures! I'm super excited for you, and I know it's going to open doors and opportunities. If you do suspect you may fall off the face of the earth, do you want to like...exchange phone numbers? I don't really use my phone, but at least then we won't possibly lose touch.
"I'm tired of dealing with hopeless people." I feel that 100%, and I always thought it was me. This is what always ends up ruining relationships for me. :/ I get it. Like, for me, I want to have meaningful connections with people who really compliment who I am. I want to feel like we're helping each other be better and achieve more. I want to be friends with people who are doing things because that's only going to inspire me, and back and forth, we're constantly motivating each other. I should put this on a dating website. LMFAO!!!!!
Like, I mentioned earlier, this is kind of where I am now with my BFF. Like, I've been there. I've tried to help and motivate her, but she doesn't hear it/me. She chooses all of this, instead, and it basically turns me off to a point where I don't really care what she does because nothing I say will really matter anyway. And, it's all very common problems, the same ones you speak of. She thinks she's poor, and I mean, by the numbers, yeah, sure, but she is in no way going without. Her daughter's father pays enough child support to take care of their basic needs. She blew her entire tax refund, and just to put it into perspective, she had enough money to pay her rent for nearly 6 months. BUT, she ended up buying a massive TV she didn't need...? She already had a nice size TV. She thinks she's good with money, because she doesn't have any debt (logic...), and manages to make it until her next paycheck. She has the time and money to have hobbies, be in school (think about her future), be eating VERY well, and staying active. But, the truth is, she's just not quite there...she spends too much money on clothes, makeup, dumb shit really, and eating out (when, in fact, she has food stamp money just piling up...dude, PILING UP). She's lazy and depressed and I'm convinced it's because she doesn't do anything, and her diet is so bad. I'm pretty torn because I do love her, and we had such a fantastic friendship at one point. Where I am right now, I feel like I just don't have it in me right now to do more than meet her halfway. Do I let myself suffer with her? It doesn't seem right. And, the same applies to everyone else, like my Dad, for example! Am I obligated to deal with it, you know? I want to say no.
no subject
Date: 2017-06-17 05:59 am (UTC)there's other people like me out there!! somewhere!! i think the americans who move abroad are a lot more like me. it already takes a special/non-normal kind of person to move abroad of their own free will, most people are too scared of leaving their comfort zone (protip: it's not freaking difficult, life is just life, it's like you moving to the shelter, it's not like your entire world actually turned upside down). it's just sad that i can't help you guys find jobs or anything...
yeah, america's really everywhere. and not in a good way. i think you'd probably have to go to china or something if you really wanted to escape US influence, but even there they do stuff like have translated american musicals on the chinese version of broadway...
like my wife puts it... "americans aren't actually poor. no one who claims they're poor seems to be. if you were poor, you wouldn't scoff at a healthy diet or only want to eat fast food and cake. you'd be going FOOD!! SOUNDS GOOD! and eating anything you could get. you stop eating for taste and start eating for nutrition and just to stay alive. my ancestors literally ate grass soup and made flour from tree bark." and then due to our diet / money situation, "when i'm walking around in town, i don't think "nah salads taste gross", i think "I'M HUNGRY".
i haven't manage to get even 1% of the people i've talked to about good diet to actually switch to a good diet. it doesn't matter what tactic you use. you can briefly mention it, you can have them try your meals (and they think they taste good), you can talk to them in detail about it, you can show them research, you can give them recipes to try, you can talk about how it'll get rid of their kid's allergies. it's exactly the same as when i try to teach people a language. not even 1% (of people from english-speaking countries anyway) actually, really listen to me. it's because they're so closed-off to anything new and they already think they know everything there is to know, basically... which i think is part of the bad diet.
the people who listen even a little bit are always those who are ALREADY on a strange and pretty good diet (ex. for some reason they already weren't eating white flour). i even talk to people who USED to be on a diet like mine and then quit, and haven't managed to get them to go back either (even though they know they felt better when they had the healthier diet). your brain literally works differently when you're on a bad diet, it's so much that it's like you're a completely different person. your sympathy, empathy, logical reasoning, memory, reactions (how quickly you get angry or scared) etc, all this is completely different on a good diet. it's so much it's scary. like, when you go walking around and suddenly remember an embarrassing moment from your past? THAT'S ACTUALLY FROM YOUR BAD DIET! my wife mentioned it yesterday (i hadn't even thought about it but then i realized it's true in my case as well), when she's on a good diet she's literally never bored. she can be sitting there with absolutely nothing to do, but she doesn't feel bored.
in fact, thinking about all this, it's really a miracle i even listened to that research and changed my own diet... but that's what you get from being curious/skeptical and wanting to improve. i just wanted to see if a no-sugar, no-white-flour diet for 3 weeks WOULD actually make me feel different, like a science experiment. i didn't think it would be so huge because i didn't think i had any problems that could be cured by diet (the same thing everyone says whenever i try to talk to them about diet!) but since i'd actually seen/read research on it, i was convinced it'd at least help me not die from cancer in 20 years. and then it helped so much i never went back. and that's how i figure out how to learn / teach languages too. i just try new stuff all the time. in real life i'm more reserved and don't try doing new things (like... horse-riding) unless i'm in a group that wants to do it, but if it's just "learning" new things i'm fine.
anyway. about other people... you can't get things back the way they were, and you can't change people. if either of those things are wrong you've just hit a one-in-a-million lottery jackpot. you can influence people, but even if time and time again you've shown that if they follow your advice their lives will drastically improve, they still won't follow your advice. i always get people going "that makes so much sense and i should really try it except i won't!", and it doesn't matter what topic it's on - you can even just be recommending them a TV series and they still won't even try it. so i think you should always assume that people WON'T change or improve, and just be pleasantly surprised if they do (but never expect it). if they have a good personality and don't improve, sure that's fine, but most of them have bad ones and that's when i can't handle it.
i've also found that you get a lot of people actually hating you because you seem to have it "better" than them, because they think you're happier than them. i mean, i'm almost blind, i live in an abusive house, and both me and my wife are unemployed.... but what do people see? we're not super sick and stuff every day (=good diet!), and small stuff doesn't usually bother us. one thing in a long string of things is what we'll complain about, not one-time small stuff. when i went to the clinic for the tuberculosis test, they were 15-20 minutes late in getting to my appointment and the registration desk that was supposed to open at 7:30 didn't open until 8 (my appointment was at 8). but with my mindset now, i don't think that's even worth complaining about or mentioning to anyone, it's barely even irritating. what IS worth complaining about is that the test results will take 1-3 weeks to arrive and i needed them 2 weeks ago. but since you're not angry and unhappy at everything people think your life is so easy. like this american in japan. i could have the EXACT same salary as her, be living in japan too, she's not disabled, and she'd still find some way to claim my life was easier than hers and that i have some magical reason why i can afford to eat healthy and she can't.
for example, whenever i go to the doctor's office all the doctors and nurses act super scared of getting yelled at, as if half the patients are pissed off all the time. i've literally been told by doctors "this is when the patient normally starts yelling at us" one time, he was so shocked that i just accepted it (=my surgery date was pushed back due to, guess what, emergency burn victims who needed surgery before mine otherwise they'd die. how selfish can you get to yell at a doctor who needs to save someone's life, eh?). or, all the time on the bus there'll be a foreigner who yells angrily at the bus driver when the doors don't open for some reason. that's just... not something to get angry about. but when your diet is bad, you do get angry and you think you're justified in getting angry, and you stay angry for longer. every time i eat some food i shouldn't have, i get angry about stuff and stay angry for like days. when i don't eat that food, i'm angry for hours or minutes. it's so simple, the way to have a stress-free, happy life... it's mind-boggling...
no subject
Date: 2017-06-19 07:29 am (UTC)My husband has also always been interested in Japan. I have too, but not nearly to the same extent as you, I'm sure. Lol. And, yes, I have the same regrets too! That's why I'm trying really hard to stick to blogging. It's really a great way to reflect and visit past memories. I don't want my life to be a blur, you know? FYI - I'm really thinking of starting to use Tumblr more regularly because there are so many instances where I want to upload photos but it's such a mega pain in the ass trying to do that here...especially on mobile. Sigh*
I personally think a phone is more than enough, assuming you get even that. Like, even now, I'm getting more than enough WiFi from my phone plan that we really don't need home internet. You can probably find a super basic plan, and you won't need to downgrade to a flip phone or anything either. I've seen hella basic plans, and have tried tons, but I don't know if you could pick up a cheapo prepaid plan and bring it to Japan (or how your prices are there compared to here). I've heard of these phones called BLU or something like that - apparently, they're like...what you buy when you travel abroad because you can easily swap carriers with them (I might be wrong, but that's what I've heard).
People who move in general I think are ambitious and in a way, kind of special. Big dreams, big ideas, fearless...
And, that's exactly it, you know? Shit is gonna happen anyway. LOL. More and more, I'm starting to see my situation in a clearer way. I guess just that, aside from my living arrangement, we ain't really that special. If I didn't tell anyone I lived in a shelter, you wouldn't know, because not much else has changed. Life goes on. I find myself adjusting to living here, and I know for a fact that this is just another detour, and we'll be OK.
I guess it's just really finally starting to sink in that this kind of was unavoidable, and in a way, necessary in order to put us in a better place financially. When I sit down and really look at our income, currently, (on a single income), we bring in over a grand a month, and that doesn't include the $350+ in food stamps we receive, or the help I get from my Mom here and there. The truth is, it's just not realistic for us to rent a $1500+/m apartment, even if I were employed too - we NEED low-income housing, (or as I like to call REGULAR PEOPLE HOUSING LOL) at least for now, and it's just not going to happen any other way. Which is fucked up really...and it does suck eggs, but that's just the reality of it.
Your wife is right. I mean, I'm not food insecure in the slightest, I can eat 3 meals a day without an issue, and can make a choice too. I'm food irritated at best. LOL. I'm irritated because I want to cook my own shit. People who are food insecure, probably are legit street homeless. And, even in those cases, the ones who REALLY suffer are those who have barriers stacked on top of barriers (physical or mentally disabled, for example). They don't pick their meals, they have whatever is served at soup kitchens or what's handed to them by people on the street. There are all kinds of people in this shelter. Some people literally can't afford to eat anything but what's served in the cafeteria, and that REALLY fucking sucks because...well, there is no salad. The food is BAD. Thankfully for us, we can choose not to eat it.
Yeah - I feel like, at the end of the day, people rarely take advice unless they walked into the conversation intending to. Like, for example, my Mom, I've tried to motivate her for YEARS to eat better...to cut down on the white rice...to go for a walk...to be health conscious basically because of her high blood pressure and cholesterol. YET NOW, she's going to the gym and not eating 6-9 servings of rice a day. I doubt I was the one who convinced her.
I;m the same way, most of what I do is just personal interest. Like the kefir, that was just something I was interested in and sought myself. I just wanted to know if it worked, period. LOL.
I've had more or less the same experience with most people. I really try to be open minded. I don't categorize myself, or close myself off to different things. How can you make a judgment without first trying it once, you know? Even if I think, chances are I'll hate it, I'll still give it a try. I'm this way with music and films. I always listen or watch. It's how I discovered Hunter X Hunter LMFAO!!! Because I have zero experience with anime.
DUDE. I've gotten the same exact treatment from others. The idea is, you're not spending all your time feeling hopeless and being hopeless. You're not whining and complaining constantly about everything. So, therefore, your life must be fantastic. Everyone has negative aspects of their life, but it's up to you to decide if you want to let it bleed out into everything else. One of my biggest peeves is actually people who lack tact, or who have no concept of social etiquette. I mean, I'm no expert myself, but people are just...Americans especially...just so freaking obnoxious. I made a comment to Thomas that I can't believe how obnoxious young people are. They lack any kind courtesy. And, then I thought, well, they learned all of this behavior from their parents and peers.
And, Jesus...it's as if people think the entire world revolves around them, you know? What's yelling or throwing a fit going to resolve? It's not like you expressing anger is useful...you still aren't going to get what you want. It's like when I see people treating customer service reps so poorly...in my eyes, all I see is a child throwing a tantrum. At our house meeting, someone was making a HUGE scene about the water fountain being broken (when in reality, tenants were just filling up gallon jugs with it without anyone knowing), and he was just irate as if yelling and causing a big ass scene is going to fix the issue. The staff can only do 2 things - call a repair man or replace it. Bad temper from a bad diet. Hella entitlement. Sigh**
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Date: 2017-06-19 10:16 am (UTC)i don't know about phones, it seems like our existing phones only work within europe but i'm not actually sure, we have to go to the phone shop and ask. japan has ALWAYS been SUPER weird/expensive with phone plans but i don't know if half of that is just because i'm only ever hearing about stupid people who need their 10g of data a week and whatnot instead of being able to just use a prepaid phone.
yeah for housing… personally i've only lived in 500-$600 a month apartments. they were really shitty, full of bugs and broken stuff and crazy landlords/roommates but it meant we had a place to stay and could afford food and transportation while only having $1,000 a month between two people. in japan you can actually get much nicer places for that same amount of money, or so i've heard (as long as you're not in tokyo) because all you're normally sacrificing is SPACE, not QUALITY like in other countries. if you're like me and all you really need is basic kitchen/bathroom stuff, a handful of clothes and books, internet and some kind of table to do homework on, you don't need much space at all so it's not a problem. and if you're not like me but you don't make much money, you need to become like me lol.
yeah, in japan, sweden and similar countries they really still have the "communal" mindset where you actually treat people with courtesy and respect, and you avoid causing a scene whenever possible. sometimes it's better to cause a bit of a scene but most of the time it really isn't, or so i've come to think. and the few people who DO cause scenes here are just considered completely crazy. i mean it's single individual people - their family members and their friends don't think the same as them.
as for sweden or japan, i personally push for japan (for everyone) because in sweden there's basically no jobs, nothing to do ("huge fairs" are the smallest country fairs ever compared to in america), everything is more expensive than in japan, and in japan you're a huge merit to any business if you can speak english and even BASIC japanese. in sweden, fluent english is such a basic skill it's not even counted as a merit. in sweden everything is really spread out and the public transportation isn't super adequate or fast, in japan you can get ANYWHERE fast. so like, if you want to move to sweden, actually i'd say -- move to japan first, get a job and save up money, THEN use skills or money you've gotten in japan to move to sweden. like, you can live in japan, take classes to learn programming and japanese on the side, live in your super cheap apartment, then come to sweden as a programmer/translator in a few years' time. (japan's population is also LESSENING so it should be easier and easier to get jobs as time goes on). there's just absolutely no jobs in sweden, and sweden is like, good for retired people who don't want to do anything.