Pillow sobbing

[december_solstice]

I wanted to do a whole life update, but I honestly just wanna sob in a pillow.

So, I'll just list it before sobbing in a pillow:

1. Answered the petition - we have to appear in court in a week. I still have to follow up with my attorney, gather anything that needs to be gathered, ect. Gotta go to homebase, or the welfare center, somewhere next week. I'm hoping so much we don't lose our home. Sure we can find someplace to go...but what about Luna? I don't even wanna think about it, honestly. It would hurt so much to lose her.

2. We finally got the laundry done. I don't know if I mentioned that, but it's a big deal when you've been living with several trash bags of dirty clothes for months.

3. We did a huge grocery haul - saved a lot of money doing it too. (Did I blog about this yet? I don't remember whether or not I mentioned it.) I'm been eating...FINALLY. Too bad a lot of it is junk food. Thankfully, I am also eating much more balanced fresh meals as well. It's been a rough few months of me barely eating anything at all.

4. Tom lost his keys, so now I'm trying hard to suppress my anxiety. I'm trying not to think about the time someone was on our fire escape. As for the keys - chances are it is in the apartment. Somewhere. I wouldn't be surprised is Luna picked it up and hid it somewhere. She's a cat, but she thinks she's a dog.

5. I've been focusing on my blog a lot over the last week or so. I just pumped out an article with deep links. I have 7 affiliate partners...in a matter of a week! I've made some insane progress. I have a pretty clear idea of what needs to be done on a daily/weekly basis, it's just a matter of sticking with it. I wish I believed in myself more. Had that fire - that drive. Tbh, I feel like this is more or a distraction than anything else. At first, Thomas seemed very supportive, but that doesn't seem the case anymore. I feel guilty that I don't have a normal job you know? Then again, in my mind, it's better to be productive, to do work, and see that work materialize, than do nothing at all. Ex. play ESO all day. Or scroll through social media mindlessly. Or watch Netflix. Or lay in bed awake for hours.

6. I registered for a series of literature and composition courses at UC Berkley.

7. I got my 2nd IPSY glambag in the mail. \

8. I am making a conscious effort towards self-care.

9. I am opening up more to both Nicole and Tom. I feel like I;'m finally becoming more honest with myself, and that's also huge.

10. I really need to clean. Again. And overall just better organize/take care of the apartment. I am sure someone from the city is going to come and inspect the apartment. We need lots of repairs that's why.

Comments

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

I don't remember you posting about groceries!

I've started making a text adventure game with my wife, but I have so much school stuff to do I feel like I really can't do anything (I'm worried every day about failing, and I'm behind on homework). I DO have time, it's not like I'm working 24/7, but as usual I just feel so mentally exhausted... I didn't even apply to jobs this month, meaning I'll do a ton tonight and lie about when I did them on the unemployment form, or just lie about doing them completely...

I have to clean too, but it's just another thing that never happens..

[outerspace-bae.livejournal.com]

Yeah it's so nice to have food in the house! It gives me so much peace of mind to know I won';t be worrying about it for a while. I'm cooking off a ton of chicken right now to put away for future sandwiches, soups and casseroles. I'm trying to be more conscious about the little things. All the way down to like...the amount of gas I'm using to cook. Gas is expensive, and any amount of money I can save is a big deal. I'd love to use a slow cooker, but I imagine the electricity used to have it on for 6+ hours is more costly than using gas on the stove since the cost of gas is less than the cost of electricity...but I really don't know what the hell I'm talking about - I'm bad at math. LOL.

OoOoOoo sounds exciting! What's it about so far?

Definitely don't pile more on your plate than you can handle. I remember feeling too mentally exhausted to do anything that wasn't mindless (like watching TV) when I got out of school. It really seems like the amount of work required for college there is more than it is here, though I did feel like my online classes we're a lot more demanding than my campus ones.

I've applied for jobs here and there, sometimes I apply for like hundreds in a sitting - which is probably going to be the plan for tomorrow. I;'ve noticed Monday mornings have worked the best for me. At this point, I'd say less than 1% of my job applications get a call back. And the ones that do, no luck. Heck I haven't even gotten an in-person interview yet. Sigh*

I'm not even thinking about cleaning...but I've got to do it. I hate cleaning. LOL.

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

You can quit cooking some stuff early, then put it (pot included) into an insulated box (ex. box with hay inside; or a more modern cooler), it'll stay warmer longer and will finish cooking via the afterheat. Like, someone was making nattou by putting foil on top of the container and surrounding it with plastic bottles full of hot water, inside a cooler. (though i don't recommend hot stuff + plastic). some stuff like porridge you can barely begin to cook, turn the heat off and let it cook with the afterheat, then come back to it hours later and heat it up and it's done (no need for real cooking/boiling). according to some people. if you have any kind of balcony you can look into "sun ovens" for the summertime as well, you can make them yourself but people also sell kits.

there's a bunch of stuff that you don't actually have to ever buy, but it depends on where you live... ex. a scrub-brush for the dishes = a bundle of split twigs, a new spoon or butter knife = a stick, a thick-ish needle = a bone, a stick of liquorice or just a twig in general = a toothbrush...

for heating up stuff you can use the "candle method", i don't remember how it went exactly but you put a candle inside some kind of container and it ends up even being able to heat up your house. or you put a cup over a tea-light and it heats your drink... you can only do that when you're at home to make sure nothing burns the house down though, of course... well, there's tons of crazy tips out there for how to save money, i don't know so many of them lol.

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

(i'll respond to the rest later!)

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

So far the game is just "you're in a forest", you just wander around and see some mythical Swedish stuff. We're going to release it as a super short game and probably expand it later.

Yeah, I took a Japanese course in the US and it used the same textbook as here, but in the US we went through it twice as slowly and didn't learn as much vocabulary/kanji in it in general (in the US we had to memorize like 50 words a week, here it's more like 200). And of course, this class is also taught in most people's second language (English), in the US it's most people's first language... We're expected to study 40 hours a week, same amount as a full-time job.

The problem being, we can't always take a 50% class (20-25hrs per week) because they're not always offered. So like, my classes for this semester aren't ever offered in 50%, but next semester's are by default. The degree takes about 3 years if you do everything at 100% speed and by the end of this semester I'll only have finished the 1st year... the higher you go the more 50% and 25% classes you can take because you just mix and match stuff until you have enough credits for a degree. (I hope to get a Japanese major and translation minor, you can't start the minor until you're in your last year of the major or something like that — bu if I can't minor via online classes it won't work anyway).

I've gotten 3 "come to our group interview" things. 1 was for unpaid internship. I haven't been to any of them... I'm just pessimistic and think, if they're inviting me to a group interview where 40 other people are, there's no way I'll get the job...