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A year older, a year wiser.
Aug. 22nd, 2016 08:54 pmIt feels both good and bad to be 26 years old. In a way, I feel so severely beat up. But, I'm also standing, aren't I? Wisdom - it usually requires a lot of life experience. Can I trade in my wisdom for peace of mind? They say ignorance is bliss.
I think what we're going through right now with our landlord is definitely going to be a life-changing event and create a real "shift" in my life. It's not because I don't think I can handle it - and perhaps everything that lead up to this moment has prepared me to handle it - I just think it's really shattered my optimistic outlook on life and people in general (I don't think people are generally/naturally good anymore, ect.) This really has shown me how much money, greed, and enterprise trumps fairness, goodness, and justice. That's Capitalism, baby.
It's the little things, you could say. Like when my landlord said, "I could rent this unit for X amount more." And, for me, all I hear is, "I can exploit people a lot more than I am exploiting you". All I'm really hearing is, "I don't really give a shit that the cost of living is so unparalleled from the amount of money people actually make in this neighborhood. I am A-OK with driving families further into poverty." It's rough.
I can't really go through every single detail that has happened over the last 2 weeks since I've gotten an attorney, but the best way to describe is it's been a lot of "Wow, what a fucking scumbag". I've learned so much, and it's both incredibly eye-opening and discouraging at the same time. Around every turn... more shady shit, that frankly, I would be completely ignorant to if it weren't for my attorney. I am so thankful for him. He is a very bright light in a very dark room, right now.
In order news, I've been writing a lot of emails, applying for a shit-ton of jobs (I think 240 today. Yeah 240.) And, so far, one of them has pushed into the "second round", where I'm being asked to provide a writing sample, do a bunch of questionnaires, ect. The job is for an editor with Finder.com
I'm going to put in a crap ton of effort on this. This is my ONLY chance I've been given...the only response I've gotten...at all. I gotta make it good. Worth it. Ugh.
I was thinking to myself, you know, right now, I can apply for any job I want, why am I not taking this opportunity to try and get a job in the field I studied/ the career I want? (Well initially, I've just been applying for jobs I thought I could get quickly and easily and am "most qualified for". It doesn't seem to fucking matter. The market is bad in general.
I also got my IPSY glambag in the mail - a sort-of birthday present courtesy of Coal. I adore it. It's fantastic, and it's been such a long time since I treated myself to anything. I'm going to blog about it. Once I'm done blogging about everything else. Probably what I'm going to do next, honestly.
As for my writing, particularly my manuscript, I got my next scene (mostly) thought-out in my head. I really want to get that going. First I need to re-read my entire manuscript to re-familiarize myself with the details of the story. I mean, I guess I don't need to re-read everything right now. Getting it out on paper might be the smarter approach. I can always go back to edit and fill-in where necessary. The gap between thinking about writing and actually writing is insanely huge.
Tom recently caught a nasty bug. Sucks we can't really afford for him to be sick right now. Perhaps I can make him some chicken soup. I have chicken and vegetable bouillon as well as egg noodles and carrots. We can figure that out...I also have drugs stashed all over the apartment. LOL. That sounds terrible, doesn't it?
I think what we're going through right now with our landlord is definitely going to be a life-changing event and create a real "shift" in my life. It's not because I don't think I can handle it - and perhaps everything that lead up to this moment has prepared me to handle it - I just think it's really shattered my optimistic outlook on life and people in general (I don't think people are generally/naturally good anymore, ect.) This really has shown me how much money, greed, and enterprise trumps fairness, goodness, and justice. That's Capitalism, baby.
It's the little things, you could say. Like when my landlord said, "I could rent this unit for X amount more." And, for me, all I hear is, "I can exploit people a lot more than I am exploiting you". All I'm really hearing is, "I don't really give a shit that the cost of living is so unparalleled from the amount of money people actually make in this neighborhood. I am A-OK with driving families further into poverty." It's rough.
I can't really go through every single detail that has happened over the last 2 weeks since I've gotten an attorney, but the best way to describe is it's been a lot of "Wow, what a fucking scumbag". I've learned so much, and it's both incredibly eye-opening and discouraging at the same time. Around every turn... more shady shit, that frankly, I would be completely ignorant to if it weren't for my attorney. I am so thankful for him. He is a very bright light in a very dark room, right now.
In order news, I've been writing a lot of emails, applying for a shit-ton of jobs (I think 240 today. Yeah 240.) And, so far, one of them has pushed into the "second round", where I'm being asked to provide a writing sample, do a bunch of questionnaires, ect. The job is for an editor with Finder.com
I'm going to put in a crap ton of effort on this. This is my ONLY chance I've been given...the only response I've gotten...at all. I gotta make it good. Worth it. Ugh.
I was thinking to myself, you know, right now, I can apply for any job I want, why am I not taking this opportunity to try and get a job in the field I studied/ the career I want? (Well initially, I've just been applying for jobs I thought I could get quickly and easily and am "most qualified for". It doesn't seem to fucking matter. The market is bad in general.
I also got my IPSY glambag in the mail - a sort-of birthday present courtesy of Coal. I adore it. It's fantastic, and it's been such a long time since I treated myself to anything. I'm going to blog about it. Once I'm done blogging about everything else. Probably what I'm going to do next, honestly.
As for my writing, particularly my manuscript, I got my next scene (mostly) thought-out in my head. I really want to get that going. First I need to re-read my entire manuscript to re-familiarize myself with the details of the story. I mean, I guess I don't need to re-read everything right now. Getting it out on paper might be the smarter approach. I can always go back to edit and fill-in where necessary. The gap between thinking about writing and actually writing is insanely huge.
Tom recently caught a nasty bug. Sucks we can't really afford for him to be sick right now. Perhaps I can make him some chicken soup. I have chicken and vegetable bouillon as well as egg noodles and carrots. We can figure that out...I also have drugs stashed all over the apartment. LOL. That sounds terrible, doesn't it?
