Q reappeared and then I made him disappear.

Before I forget, or get too tried, or do something else, I wanted to jot down a few thoughts about what happened today. An old friend, I shall call him Q, got into contact with me yesterday. Things got unfortunately creepy very fast.

A little background. I met Q thru my husband, approximately 13 years ago. I was 15 years old at the time, and he was 25-26. We clicked from the get-go. I wrote letters to him, he sometimes wrote back. It was weird then, but I didn't realize it. These letters were often personal. I discovered music and other arts-related interests through him. My interest in government and politics also began with him. I guess you could say, at a very young age, he got me thinking about the world and about myself in a different light.

Q and I go way back. I spent so much time with him, and his GF at the time, as well as his entire family. He was also a best friend to my husband. Yet, in a VERY subtle way, I feel he has tried to get close to me, and/or get between my husband and I - a silent threat, I guess you could say. Over the years, I feel that, because of the history we have, I've always tried to humanize him in difficult situations - basically, find ways to make excuses for unusual or otherwise unacceptable behavior. He has been emotionally and mentally manipulative and abusive, as well as physical, to all of his partners. He tends to find young women, young insecure women, and take advantage of them. He did this to my 15 year then best friend. He was more than 10 years older than her (us). We were YOUNG minors, and he was way beyond his mid-20's at the time. He, in a way, destroyed lives.

I found out a while back that he had/has topless (bra?) photos of me in his email. I don't know how or where he got those photos/if they're actual photos of me. (It seems very unlikely, unless he took them without me knowing many many years ago while I was underage which would in fact be the worse case.) Ect. I have a few hunches of who may be involved.

He and his family had been homeless for over a decade. My husband also became homeless for a brief time when his father passed away (he was young then). At that time, he, as well as his entire family, were much needed support to my husband during an impossibly difficult time in his life. There has always been love for this family, even though, for years, I feel something is not right about them. In 2012, my husband flew Q's brother, his then best friend, to NYC. Basically to give him a better life, a chance. He was also homeless at the time. We got taken advantage of. He claimed is was simply "a vacation". It really broke my heart to hear that. We forgave and moved on. And, even up until now, I had be open to the idea of putting it behind us and reconnecting. But now, I'm not too sure.

When I was 18, I had an almost 3-sum with their youngest sibling, a girl, who was a minor at the time. (I know I kind of went out of left field on that one, but it's also sort of an important piece to the puzzle.) I really made some regrettable choices involving every single person in this family.

Back to Q. So, he shows back up out of nowhere and starts creeping through all my old profile and timeline photos on FB. He flips through all of them - liking and commenting - all in which are related to nudity, sex, sexuality, or how he finds me attractive or sexy. Mind you, he is completely aware, I am married, and have been with his ex-best friend for nearly 13 years. How do I respond to something like that? In a way, I think this entire situation reaffirms how much I need to move on from these people. My husband is no longer really communicating with this family, why should I?

Why do we hold on or cling to people that are obviously very bad for us? Is it a longing to reconnect and revisit a place in time that no longer exists? It's a yearn for a memory.