I'm an atheist that prays in desperate situations.

You're probably thinking -- She's been born again! God has spoken to the poor girl!.

Er...not exactly, fam.

Actually, the exact opposite has happened.

I think embracing (more like humoring) the idea of faith pushed me further towards the reality that our lives are very much our own and there is no outside force leading the world in which we live in. That our reality has ultimately been created by us. Our reality is of our making.

I realized humans reach out for faith, for comfort, in a time of great need. In a moment of desperation, when we feel powerless, when we believe ourselves to be weak, we want it so desperately for God, religion, and such to be true -- that a higher power will save us. Will love us. Will make us IMPORTANT. Will make us MATTER.

Similarly how we want so desperately there to be life after death, to be forgiven for our sins, that there is more to our existence than this -- that we are NOT insignificant in this great wide indifferent universe. A universe that has thrived without us for billions of years before we entered the picture, and ultimately, will thrive without us, for billions of years after we are out of the picture.

This is a hard to swallow. No human heart wants to feel this way -- wants to accept that life goes on once we're dead. That the plants, trees, planets, and so on are unaffected by our existence.

And, I get that. I can understand why faith exist. Why gods have been a part of our lives for hundreds of thousands of years. Why we worshiped the sun. Why we worshiped the stars. Why we worships gods. Because life is hard. Because we're HUMAN. We feel things. Because feeling obsolete is difficult. Because hope feels good. Because God is a beautiful delusion.

I wish it was easier to talk openly about sex.

I think us not being able to do that in 2015 is a real mystery. We consume so much porn, yet we can't talk about our own wants and desires. At the same time, we are struggling with providing humans the necessary education and tools to protect themselves from STI's and pregnancy. This is not a good look, yall.

Why is sex still taboo in 2015?

Why is it so difficult for us to talk about sex in a way that makes us comfortable and helps us learn about our bodies and sexuality?

I've mentioned a little bit about my sex life a while back, and really, sex is a big part of my life! I am generally very open about it with my girlfriends. My husband and I...we throw down in the bedroom. When I have a new and exciting experience, I want to share it. I want my girlfriends to experience the same!

Too often do women believe sex is for men. No, sex is for us too. Big girls. Skinny girls. All of us. The married ones, the single ones. All of us.

POP PUSSIES AND BABIES OUT

Here is a little background on us:

We've been together for almost 12 years and been sexually active for about 11 1/2. We are very much obsessed with each other. I would say even more today than as teenagers. Which is hard to believe, right?!

We;re both on the chubby side, and have always been. We've actually grown especially round over the last decade. LOL! College weight. Marriage weight. You know how it goes...

But, being on the bigger side, we've had to do a lot of adjusting, a lot of finding what works for us and what REALLY REALLY works for us. When you're a bit on the heavier side, traditional sex positions may not work as well for you without being altered -- something that we'd learned over the years. For example, yes, we both adore doggy style for the deep penetration and overall control, but it doesn't work so well on a mattress because we sink in too far due to our weight. (The memory-foam doesn't help either.) So instead, I put my knees on my edge of the bed and he stands. Also, cowgirl (woman-on-top) does not work so effortlessly for us because my legs are short and his hips are just too wide.

When my girlfriends, especially those who are on the bigger side are struggling with their sex lives, I want to give them tips that really work for me but the awkward shame/shyness gets in the way. I want to be able to tell a friend "try this -- guaranteed multiple/extended orgasms!"

I want to be able to tell them they need to keep their back arched and butt up. But, this is not easy to say! At all. I don't even tell my girlfriends I've been up all night having sex. You know what I tell them instead? I've been up late "romancing". LOL!

How can we be open and honest about the good sex and the bad sex and how we can improve? How can we help each other in the bedroom without that super weird awkwardness?

White Girl Can't Love That Way