A tragic event

[december_solstice]

Emotions are heavy tonight. I found out about an hour ago that my uncle died last night in a double suicide. My heart is breaking, but because the topic and the overall situation is so complicated, controversial - many people are hurt, I'm choosing to keep my thoughts to myself.

This is what happened - the short version: My uncle has been having an affair with an underage girl next door. From what I've learned, it's been going on for the past few years. She is nearly an adult now, but it began when she was probably age 14 or 15. This of course turned into a divorce, the loss of his kids, and many legal issues regarding the age of his girlfriend. My aunt left the state, with the kids. He went missing for about 5 days, before found dead in a car with his girlfriend. She has been a run away 4 months - it seems her intentions were to probably be with him.

Infidelity and the alienation they received from their families lead to worst of fates. Although I am in no place to judge all those involved and effected by their actions - I find it very saddening how often the life of another is only mattered when it's too late.

I was judgemental, of course, in response to the judgements made by family members, and now I feel rather terrible about it now because at the end of the day, we cannot help who we love, we all just try to make decisions that reflect best what is in our hearts, we all make mistakes, we're all flawed, but we all deserve compassion.

Comments

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

it's a bit like.... when someone's having an affair, no matter who with, they should be sent to a psychiatrist or something. then when they're dating someone that young, and that someone isn't what's most likely a "normal, stable" person, it's just another sign that maaaaybe they need help...

this really bothers me about people. you need to be able to force your "loved" ones to get help if you think they might need it - if they don't need it then no harm done (and if it turns out they have nothing wrong with them and they're just making some weird decisions, okay). but, otherwise, you're not really loving them, not in my opinion. if someone's sick, you have to want them to get better, you don't just leave them there.

anyway, i'm sorry for your loss... though it sounds like a good thing to put in a memoir...

[outerspace-bae.livejournal.com]

You're right, it really is a great story to write about. Lots of...issues here.

And, I agree completely! I mean, it's pretty clear that something was not right...you know? But, it's funny how like...everyone's reaction is NOT in anyway WHATSOEVER "something is not right here", instead...it's all about the betrayal... "what a scumbag" "cheater" "homewrecker". And, even more so, I find women in the family blaming the teenage girl. No one is like "Hm, this guy is a little off, that girl seems obviously unstable / at-risk. He probably has PTSD for serving in the military for 25 years."

Zero logic or sensible thought processes here.

[outerspace-bae.livejournal.com]

Of course, I could not imagine what my aunt and their kids are going through and will go through. But what about his family, and the family of the girl? You know? It's helpful to think outside of your own emotions and how you're effected. No story is 1 sided.

[ringlat.livejournal.com]

I've really noticed that in drama stories it's like, if the girlfriend is cheating on them, they act like the guy she was cheating on them with was to blame... makes zero sense (and in some/many cases, the girlfriend has claimed to him that she's not even dating anyone else, right?). Or it's like "it's my fault she cheated, I'm not good enough". People are so weird to even consider these things...