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Aug. 12th, 2016 06:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
december_solsticeBest Friend Break-Ups
My husband is pretty aware that my friendship with Coal has been going south for quite some time now. Supposedly, the average friend-ship lasts about 7 years. Most of the significant friendships I've had lasted for more than 2 years, but less than 5. Most of these 'break-ups' end for similar reasons - it's usually boredom. It makes me feel pretty terrible, but it's true. Engaging conversations and mental stimulation is such a huge part of my interest and attraction in other people. When matched with undesirable response from the other party, it doesn't take long for me to fall off the band wagon.
I've noticed a lot of similar qualities in the friends I make: They often share too much too quickly - leaving very little to learn about the other later on. They are very emotional creatures. They tend to be clingy and have a hard time giving me space. Interestingly enough, they often struggle with romantic relationships and instead put a lot of value in friendships. However, I've noticed that, even in the instance that they value friendship GREATLY, they still tend to be very self-absorbed and have very little consideration for others.
The women I befriend always end up being so different from who I am. We may have some surface interests, but when it comes to core values, we are always polar opposites. They tend to be very vain, shallow, materialistic, and unoriginal. They often are not interested or passionate about anything. Yet, some how, I've noticed women find a way to mold themselves into whom they think I would desire as a friend, and we create this bond that is strong in the beginning...that unfortunately fades over time as their true selves emerge from the shadows. I don't want a friend who is a direct copy of who I am. I mean really, what good does that do?
Like Ringlat said, it's probably not bad luck as much as it is the fact that...this is just how a lot of people are. I 100m% don't doubt that fact.
I think a part of me also seeks a similar relationship as the one I have with my husband. He and I are two completely different people and we are constantly learning and growing and becoming more ourselves every day. I would love to have this same kind of bond and/or partnership with others. I think the chances of that are becoming more and more slim as I get older, though.
My husband is pretty aware that my friendship with Coal has been going south for quite some time now. Supposedly, the average friend-ship lasts about 7 years. Most of the significant friendships I've had lasted for more than 2 years, but less than 5. Most of these 'break-ups' end for similar reasons - it's usually boredom. It makes me feel pretty terrible, but it's true. Engaging conversations and mental stimulation is such a huge part of my interest and attraction in other people. When matched with undesirable response from the other party, it doesn't take long for me to fall off the band wagon.
I've noticed a lot of similar qualities in the friends I make: They often share too much too quickly - leaving very little to learn about the other later on. They are very emotional creatures. They tend to be clingy and have a hard time giving me space. Interestingly enough, they often struggle with romantic relationships and instead put a lot of value in friendships. However, I've noticed that, even in the instance that they value friendship GREATLY, they still tend to be very self-absorbed and have very little consideration for others.
The women I befriend always end up being so different from who I am. We may have some surface interests, but when it comes to core values, we are always polar opposites. They tend to be very vain, shallow, materialistic, and unoriginal. They often are not interested or passionate about anything. Yet, some how, I've noticed women find a way to mold themselves into whom they think I would desire as a friend, and we create this bond that is strong in the beginning...that unfortunately fades over time as their true selves emerge from the shadows. I don't want a friend who is a direct copy of who I am. I mean really, what good does that do?
Like Ringlat said, it's probably not bad luck as much as it is the fact that...this is just how a lot of people are. I 100m% don't doubt that fact.
I think a part of me also seeks a similar relationship as the one I have with my husband. He and I are two completely different people and we are constantly learning and growing and becoming more ourselves every day. I would love to have this same kind of bond and/or partnership with others. I think the chances of that are becoming more and more slim as I get older, though.
