Frequent Nightmares: Why do some have them often while others do not?

Since my early teens, nightmares and anxiety-stricken dreams have been a norm for me. It started more than a decade ago. Before puberty even hit, I'd have recurring dreams about being stuck on an escalator. Every morning I'd wake up stressed and anxious.

As a teen, they became a lot more violent. In my early adulthood, around age 18, I had a dream of me taking a gun and shooting my newborn in the face. If I can recall correctly, immediately after birth. By the way, I did not have a child. I've never had children. I don't have children now. In my previous posts (and in the comments), I had briefly mentioned that I struggle with infertility. More specifically, I cannot ovulate.

Is it safe to associate depression with nightmares? As a teen, I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline personality disorder). It is also important to mention that mental illness runs quite deep in my family. My father is bipolar and has PTSD and OCD. I can have OCD-like behavior under stress. An example would be when someone tried to break into our apartment earlier this year. I check the front door several times an evening -- sometimes 2-3 times in a row (...get up, go check the door, go back to bed...get back up and do it again.)

Last night I had a dream that left me anxious and stressed. It was a nightmare all in itself. I had a dream that my marriage fell apart. It was pathetic, to say the least. We appeared very shallow in personality -- fighting over petty things. The focus of our fight was on sexual performance which is kind of...well...pathetic! We complained to each other about not preforming to the standard and also becoming unattractive to each other. (Isn't that pathetic?) I know I keep using that word, but it best describes how I feel about it. I woke up sad and feeling...PATHETIC.

We have a relatively fulfilling and fun sex life -- even for a couple who has been rocking the bedpost for nearly 12 years. I could probably have more sex, but not in a way that...I harbor feelings about it. Or, even think about it. Personally, I don't hold such value to sex and I don't suffer when I don't have it. But, at the same time, I also recognize that I have a pretty active sex-drive, and I could have some unconscious thoughts about it. I am also going through hormonal changes as a result of my reproductive health.

Any clue as to why I have regular nightmares and dreams that cause anxiety and/or what could have possibly encouraged the dream I had last night about my marriage?

What constitutes the achievement of a "career"?

Is is the achievement of success? More importantly, monetary success? I think most of us just want to do something we believe in, something we care about, something that makes our short time on earth worth something. For me, I want to contribute to the betterment of society in some way or another, while also being able to put food on the table. This is a tough task, for sure.

As my bff Nicole would says, "we're all just cogs in the machine." And, that's true. If you're working for someone else, especially a large corporation, there is like a 99% chance you're working for the elite's capitalistic interests and further perpetuating economic inequality.

This is in part why I could NEVER work in sales. Granted the product we're selling is something has the potential to be live-saving, and we're making it easily available. Though, it wouldn't be sales if that were the case now would it? Even if cases such as these, nobility is lacking.

Capitalism leads our food and pharmaceutical industries. Our health and beauty industries. Industries that are suppose to be out for our best interests are privatized and no different than your Walmart or BP Oil.

This is why my heart is in journalism, research and education. This is why I'm pushing so hard for it. I want to be in the business of information. I want to make sure that information is accessible, and what we spread is true and accurate. We all have a right to knowledge. We all have the right to think freely and decide for ourselves what is true and what is right. We all have a right to making educated choices about our lives. I want to protect that.

I know we all have to live, but we should all be working towards being a good cog. A career -- a job we intend to do for the rest of our lives, or at the very least, for a long period of time -- make sure that job you're planning to do for a long time is worth while.