december_solstice

It’s already past 4, and I really should be going to bed. I can’t be staying up this late. In reality, I need to start establishing a midnight-1am bedtime, so I can actually get a full nights rest on a regular basis. Clearly, that isn’t happening tonight, and that’s OK.

I’ve been engaging a lot more with my support group. On my blog, homeless people are starting to reach out to me. Sometimes, it’s a lot. I mean the world is a lot, isn’t it. Suicide seems to be more prevalent than ever. We’re apparently kidnapping immigrant babies. I mean, really.

Not necessary off topic, but not on topic either, I think the trick is to really serve others, FULLY, without judgement, without anything but love, but not trying to save the world. We have to pick a few things and just give ourselves to it. You can’t give yourself to everything that makes you angry. There just isn’t enough you to go around. We can care, we can feel, but we cannot save the world.

That doesn’t mean we can’t love people when they need love. Love others, love them hard, when your heart is full. And, please, serve others. Just don’t do it when you can’t. That’s the secret, you know.

When I serve others, I take time out of my day, and I give it to them. Like, literally. I give myself to this person for a while. And I simply love them. I love them as I love my family. When I can’t do it, I don’t. I wonder if I’m making any sense.

I matched a homeless girl to services last night and just overall showered some love on her. Another person was talking to me, on my blog, about abuse from onsite shelter caseworkers.

Let’s be real. I’m not qualified for any of this. Most of us aren’t. The truth is, I can’t advise everyone. I don’t always have the right answers. I don’t know enough. And, even when I do, I still don’t. But, I can usually point them in the direction of someone who can take care of them in ways I am not sure about. It really is a lot. But, I realize I have to try. I have to do my best.

It’s just…I think about myself, you know? And what I needed then, and I’m trying to be what I needed when I was homeless.