![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
This weekend wasn't half bad! Thomas got paid on Friday, which was a pleasant surprise. Now we have a decent amount of money for moving. Having food stamps has REALLY allowed us to spend a lot less money while also eating A LOT better.
Who would have thought eating anything but rice and beans would feel so luxurious? I've been poor for so long, a hot shower and a cereal bar feels so middle class. LOL.
Sure, I might be all about minimalist and frugal living, but let's get this straight - being poor is not a fucking hobby. I don't do this by choice, you know? And, although I *know* this (ex. my old blog), I'm realizing that on such a different level.
When your worrying all your time about where you're going to live, how you'll keep your lights/stove on, what you're going to eat, how you'll get to work...it's just not a life, you know? I feel very alone and on my own in this world. All I have is my husband, and all we have is each other. Like, that's the plain truth. At the end of the day, who is going to keep you from dying? LOL. That's a little dramatic, but you know what I mean. We really have no one that we can count on/go to, and holy shit, that's really sad.
ANYWHO...
Before I turn this into a major *emotionally-driven* rant/post...
As I mentioned earlier within the month, we were also credited $150ish dollars to our utility bill which was basically a god send.
I didn't cook much at all this weekend. I spent a good portion of it with Rango, watching Netflix, and just spending quality time with Thomas. I caught another cold end of last week so it's just been me more or less drinking smoothies, taking medication, vitamins, ect. and eating halal. It's pretty clear at this point that the colds Thomas and I have been getting frequently is, yes, partially due to a long and harsh winter, but also due to just...never-ending constant stress, and probably the condition of the apartment (mold).
Anywho, since I never made it back to the grocery store since our utilities were shut off, and wasn't in the mood for grocery shopping (but still needing to run other *necessary* errands), we've just been bringing food home on our way back.
Of course, tonight that will change because I'm making meatloaf and greens. Trying to keep processed garbage to a minimum (per usual). It's going to be a late dinner though because Thomas is out w/ coworkers tonight for a hot wing challenge (lol). I'm so happy for him tbh, and it's been a rough start for this new job but I know it's so soooo good for him, he deserves it, and he has so much to offer.
I was looking at jobs earlier and all I got to say is, the market is complete shit. I mean, if you actually want a choice, it's competitive asf. You gotta apply, probably, every day, and get to those listings first, or nearly first. Of course, I know that, and I know I probably have no chance getting any kind of work I *actually* want otherwise, but, yeah. I don't know. Whatever.
In other news, I've been just feeling so desperate to get my life back. I don't know what I've been doing these past few years. I mean, I know what I've been doing, but it's not enough. Clearly. I really need to start being more goal oriented again, and organized. I am just not even a fraction of the person I was 3-4 years ago. I know that if I don't get a hold of my shit, and start making moves (calculated risks blah blah), start making plans, I will literally wake up one morning and be living the exact same life, but I'll be 30 and be well...unhappy. This could be it, if I let it be.
I picked up a notebook at Staples and I am determined to get a bullet journal going and to use it religiously. I wish I had a decent camera to take some pictures of what I've got going on so far - I will ask Thomas when he gets home to snap a few.
Who would have thought eating anything but rice and beans would feel so luxurious? I've been poor for so long, a hot shower and a cereal bar feels so middle class. LOL.
Sure, I might be all about minimalist and frugal living, but let's get this straight - being poor is not a fucking hobby. I don't do this by choice, you know? And, although I *know* this (ex. my old blog), I'm realizing that on such a different level.
When your worrying all your time about where you're going to live, how you'll keep your lights/stove on, what you're going to eat, how you'll get to work...it's just not a life, you know? I feel very alone and on my own in this world. All I have is my husband, and all we have is each other. Like, that's the plain truth. At the end of the day, who is going to keep you from dying? LOL. That's a little dramatic, but you know what I mean. We really have no one that we can count on/go to, and holy shit, that's really sad.
ANYWHO...
Before I turn this into a major *emotionally-driven* rant/post...
As I mentioned earlier within the month, we were also credited $150ish dollars to our utility bill which was basically a god send.
I didn't cook much at all this weekend. I spent a good portion of it with Rango, watching Netflix, and just spending quality time with Thomas. I caught another cold end of last week so it's just been me more or less drinking smoothies, taking medication, vitamins, ect. and eating halal. It's pretty clear at this point that the colds Thomas and I have been getting frequently is, yes, partially due to a long and harsh winter, but also due to just...never-ending constant stress, and probably the condition of the apartment (mold).
Anywho, since I never made it back to the grocery store since our utilities were shut off, and wasn't in the mood for grocery shopping (but still needing to run other *necessary* errands), we've just been bringing food home on our way back.
Of course, tonight that will change because I'm making meatloaf and greens. Trying to keep processed garbage to a minimum (per usual). It's going to be a late dinner though because Thomas is out w/ coworkers tonight for a hot wing challenge (lol). I'm so happy for him tbh, and it's been a rough start for this new job but I know it's so soooo good for him, he deserves it, and he has so much to offer.
I was looking at jobs earlier and all I got to say is, the market is complete shit. I mean, if you actually want a choice, it's competitive asf. You gotta apply, probably, every day, and get to those listings first, or nearly first. Of course, I know that, and I know I probably have no chance getting any kind of work I *actually* want otherwise, but, yeah. I don't know. Whatever.
In other news, I've been just feeling so desperate to get my life back. I don't know what I've been doing these past few years. I mean, I know what I've been doing, but it's not enough. Clearly. I really need to start being more goal oriented again, and organized. I am just not even a fraction of the person I was 3-4 years ago. I know that if I don't get a hold of my shit, and start making moves (calculated risks blah blah), start making plans, I will literally wake up one morning and be living the exact same life, but I'll be 30 and be well...unhappy. This could be it, if I let it be.
I picked up a notebook at Staples and I am determined to get a bullet journal going and to use it religiously. I wish I had a decent camera to take some pictures of what I've got going on so far - I will ask Thomas when he gets home to snap a few.
