december_solstice ([personal profile] december_solstice) wrote2015-09-29 01:31 am
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I'm an atheist that prays in desperate situations.

You're probably thinking -- She's been born again! God has spoken to the poor girl!.

Er...not exactly, fam.

Actually, the exact opposite has happened.

I think embracing (more like humoring) the idea of faith pushed me further towards the reality that our lives are very much our own and there is no outside force leading the world in which we live in. That our reality has ultimately been created by us. Our reality is of our making.

I realized humans reach out for faith, for comfort, in a time of great need. In a moment of desperation, when we feel powerless, when we believe ourselves to be weak, we want it so desperately for God, religion, and such to be true -- that a higher power will save us. Will love us. Will make us IMPORTANT. Will make us MATTER.

Similarly how we want so desperately there to be life after death, to be forgiven for our sins, that there is more to our existence than this -- that we are NOT insignificant in this great wide indifferent universe. A universe that has thrived without us for billions of years before we entered the picture, and ultimately, will thrive without us, for billions of years after we are out of the picture.

This is a hard to swallow. No human heart wants to feel this way -- wants to accept that life goes on once we're dead. That the plants, trees, planets, and so on are unaffected by our existence.

And, I get that. I can understand why faith exist. Why gods have been a part of our lives for hundreds of thousands of years. Why we worshiped the sun. Why we worshiped the stars. Why we worships gods. Because life is hard. Because we're HUMAN. We feel things. Because feeling obsolete is difficult. Because hope feels good. Because God is a beautiful delusion.

RE: Red Sky Boy's take...

[identity profile] outerspace-bae.livejournal.com 2015-09-29 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Great comments, thanks for sharing!

RE: Red Sky Boy's take...

[identity profile] mishkwanakwad.livejournal.com 2015-09-29 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Think of it this way outerspace_bae, we had undiluted traditions for thousands of years, ways of relating to the world in a more intuitive and wholistic way. Sure nothing came easy, not like it does now, but we didn't have a need for a "Hell" wherein to put sinners. If you were bad news, you got exiled or shunned and because no person could survive on their own... well yeah that may seem like harsh justice, but we had no need for jails and such. Also we had a long history of allowing people to express their innate gender whether that gender matched biological sex or not. American Society now wants into everyone's bedroom and panties and uterus and i just wanna scream! And for profit prisons? It is a society of the truly insane. And they call me crazy...