december_solstice | (no subject)

5/23/17

I've been at Starbucks for nearly 2 hours and ESO has only DL-ed 4% I was REALLY hoping I could check out the expansion tonight but I can't sit here forever, and I really wanna get some lunch and head back already :/

Today we had a house meeting. It was very long and informative. They more or less told us that although we can sort of have food in our room (they're being loose about that rule because you know, it feels too much like prison), however, we need to be responsible about it. I'm guessing there have been people in the past who hoarded trash in their room and since we don't have any central air in the building, it gets super hot in the building in the summer. It doesn't take very long before the flies and roaches become an issue. I'm about to pick up some clothes pins and gallon-size freezer bags to seal everything we have (open crackers, for example).

Other than that, I learned quite a bit about housing and why a lot of people aren't getting transferred out of here (which was intended to only be a 10-day processing center, not a long-term thing). Not only is the shelter system completely packed to the brim (which we already know - hence why the city is literally putting people up in hotels), it's been increasingly hard finding any landlords willing to take the vast amount of voucher holders (which we also already know), but apparently it has to do specifically with landlords only taking clients with certain criteria that simply don't apply to most voucher holders - like no past evictions, good credit, etc.). Which is fucking stupid because the voucher is specifically for those who have been evicted and if it was a non-payment case, their credit is now shit. So, how does that even work?

I have an appointment with the housing specialist on Thursday, so I should get even more insight this week. But, I gotta say, this is just a shitstorm. None of this makes much sense and any sensible thinking person could clearly see the fuckery at work here and how inefficient this system is.

In other news, I tried this *therapy* app yesterday. It's called 7 Cups. The app basically links you with a trained *listener* depending on what your needs are. It was a total disaster. Totally unprofessional, the guy was blaming all of the issues I've faced by "fucking liberals". I SHIT YOU NOT. WTF is that? I'm not saying it wasn't an interesting encounter but in no way should have that happened. Like, what if you were really in some serious distress? And, you ran into that guy. Like, that could possibly do more harm than good especially when the intention is supposed to be talk therapy. You might as well talk to your cat.

I started blogging a bit on Tumblr on a day-to-day basis, but I don't think I'm going to keep up with it. I mentioned on Tumblr that my follow-up with my caseworker on Sunday was absolutely useless. Every time I run into her I feel like she never has anything useful to say or any answers to my questions. Like, she's a nice lady, there is no question about that, but she's useless, and that's really unfortunate. You'd think, depending on our specific concerns, she would further seek some answers to our questions before our next meet-up, but that's never the case. I know I should be grateful, but man, I feel like ever turn is a disappointment and that's been a regulate occurrence for a long while now. Am I hard to please? I expect so much from other people.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nah therapists are generally very unhelpful. At the most all they can do is say stuff like "try to eat" "try to get a job" "wow that sucks", which is what your friends should be saying anyway, so I'm of the belief that unless you think you can't actually tell your problems to anyone you know, or you're traumatized and need specialized trauma therapy or something, then a therapist is useless. I mean, if you don't even know what your problem is or you refuse to believe you have a problem and other people are telling you you do, then you should go to a therapist for example. But if you know what's wrong, know how to fix it and just just can't due to the circumstances, it's not like the therapist can get you a job for example.

Speaking of jobs. There are seemingly some jobs in Japan where you DON'T have to have a degree or any experience to get them, and they WILL give you a work VISA; it's mostly apparently teaching kindergarteners English. Of course it doesn't have to be Japan but, I think you guys could even think about that kind of thing once you have a more permanent place to stay in the US... As far as teaching jobs go, kindergarteners are probably the best for keeping your "personal time", in that you won't actually have to prepare lessons or grade homework.

I always think of therapists is simply the friend you don't have. LOL. Like, it's nice to talk to someone who isn't someone you know. This was terrible though, and I'll never do it again. Like, it was so bad. LMFAO.

I'm genuinely thinking of seeing a legit psychiatrist. I am probably going to bring it up to the medical case worker and just see where it goes because I really would like to hear what a "professional" would say. I've had really dark days that just...are not working LOL. Like, it's just not like how it's been in the past where I can sort of force myself to mentally snap out of it. It's very consuming. I mean I'm pretty sure this is depression. LOL. And, I'm just very high functioning (well, most of the time).

I definitely agree with you, though, like, everyone should have that person to go to already and although I have that, it honestly hasn't felt like enough for a while. Unless I'm blogging about it here, telling people in my life doesn't help me :/ I think part of it is not knowing how to express it and just overall being very reserved.

Like right now, there isn't a whole lot we can do to actually control our living situation. We've reached a point where the only task that is left is patience and I don't know how to deal with that in a way where I am not emotionally/mentally suffering. I guess. LOL. Maybe. I dunno lmfao

I've actually considered being an ESL teacher, and also a pre-school/kinder teacher! It does seem rewarding and overall a positive environment. Cus small kids are great. lol.