I'm an atheist that prays in desperate situations.

[december_solstice]

You're probably thinking -- She's been born again! God has spoken to the poor girl!.

Er...not exactly, fam.

Actually, the exact opposite has happened.

I think embracing (more like humoring) the idea of faith pushed me further towards the reality that our lives are very much our own and there is no outside force leading the world in which we live in. That our reality has ultimately been created by us. Our reality is of our making.

I realized humans reach out for faith, for comfort, in a time of great need. In a moment of desperation, when we feel powerless, when we believe ourselves to be weak, we want it so desperately for God, religion, and such to be true -- that a higher power will save us. Will love us. Will make us IMPORTANT. Will make us MATTER.

Similarly how we want so desperately there to be life after death, to be forgiven for our sins, that there is more to our existence than this -- that we are NOT insignificant in this great wide indifferent universe. A universe that has thrived without us for billions of years before we entered the picture, and ultimately, will thrive without us, for billions of years after we are out of the picture.

This is a hard to swallow. No human heart wants to feel this way -- wants to accept that life goes on once we're dead. That the plants, trees, planets, and so on are unaffected by our existence.

And, I get that. I can understand why faith exist. Why gods have been a part of our lives for hundreds of thousands of years. Why we worshiped the sun. Why we worshiped the stars. Why we worships gods. Because life is hard. Because we're HUMAN. We feel things. Because feeling obsolete is difficult. Because hope feels good. Because God is a beautiful delusion.

Comments

[marishane.livejournal.com]

You make a good point. I had this professor who once told me that religion was created because of human's aversion to death and we all want to cling on to a hope of a better future. It does make sense.
Though right now I am still confused as to how I label my faith because I don't usually talk about it. But I'm raised by atheists sometimes agnostics parents so I guess I had somehow adopted their beliefs or nonbeliefs of a diety.
Seeing your article makes me lean towards the idea that humans created this God. It's very intriguing.

[outerspace-bae.livejournal.com]

I think humans create gods that reflect their values, their society, and their thoughts of the time (it was written). I think they make sense to the communities that follow them. For example, it makes sense of rural farmers to pray towards gods that grant fertility and abundance because their livelihood depends on it!