I'm already getting a student loan in preparation for it, the problem is in Sweden a student loan is still very "little" money (like $1,200 a month or less, I forget how often it comes exactly - which is for rent + food + daily transportation + plane tickets for two people, not to mention start-up costs like bedding because Japanese apartments don't usually come furnished in any way) and in Japan we want to do a LOT of stuff, so it feels like we'll "barely" be able to do stuff. And I'm having this problem with my bank where because they have the wrong social security number for me (I had to change it a while ago) and haven't updated it, I can't get my loan money sent directly to my bank, instead I have to pick it up in cash at the grocery store all the time and that'll be impossible if I'm in Japan....
Anyway it's not just that. You only get student loan money when you're literally studying, so I won't get any income in summer! I tried to enroll in summer classes to ensure I could keep getting money but since I haven't passed this certain Swedish proficiency exam yet, they immediately kicked me out and I'm going to have to pass the test (next month) and then specially Email all the teachers to ask if they can let me in.
Plan B is to write books. As soon as my classes are out (in 5 weeks or so) I'm going to sit down and, aside from studying Japanese, seriously work on books to sell. One's going to be a Japanese-Esperanto/English dictionary for learners that's actually GOOD (ex. shows what each kanji means + explains the logic behind what they say), and most of the words I already have the definitions written down for and can just copy-paste, so it shouldn't take all that long.
She can function, she's not actually laying around in bed all day, the dishes and laundry get done etc. The problem is... in some ways she really can't function. She's super stressed out CONSTANTLY, feels sick a lot and gets pretty paranoid (the worse she feels, the more paranoid she gets), and has stuff like huge social phobia (she tends to do stuff like simply not answer the phone, even when she knows it's a doctor - but she can talk to that doctor in person) so does things like takes an hour or two to write an Email. But based on my experience of having been on anti-depressants for years, and then (unrelated but it is what I eventually did) switching to just eating healthy, the food works a billion times better than the antidepressants.
Quitting the sugar / processed foods was a huge help but I'm also feeling myself get more and more "normal" the more (or more often) fermented foods I eat. It feels kind of like, the processed stuff gave you this problem so quitting them "stops" the problem from getting worse, but fermented foods are what's actually healing you - which fits perfectly in line with what I've read about "gut health" and your stomach bacteria controlling your moods, but it's a whole 'nother thing to actually experience it over time. It's not just physically, it's EMOTIONALLY, like you don't get angry anywhere near as fast, you can concentrate better, have tons more motivation (in the past it was like I had a mental block to doing things. Now doing something like chores is just "easy" and "not a problem"), and last but not least are more "awake" when you're awake. The more good stuff I eat the more I'm able to focus on just being productive and brush off failure, and it's just coming naturally.
And now that I'm forcing her to eat something fermented every day I keep asking her every day if she's feeling any better, and she actually is (and it's only been what, 3 days?) so things are looking up.
Oh and the unemployment office has FINALLY, MAYBE gotten her a part-time job at a local stable now, that or they'll give her an internship (basically unpaid but they'll cover your travel costs at least) at a second-hand shop, and she loves horses and also likes second-hand shops so hopefully one of those will come through. The problem now is that since we're going to Japan in probably August, they might not want to hire her just because they want a more long-term employee.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2017-04-24 06:31 am (UTC)Anyway it's not just that. You only get student loan money when you're literally studying, so I won't get any income in summer! I tried to enroll in summer classes to ensure I could keep getting money but since I haven't passed this certain Swedish proficiency exam yet, they immediately kicked me out and I'm going to have to pass the test (next month) and then specially Email all the teachers to ask if they can let me in.
Plan B is to write books. As soon as my classes are out (in 5 weeks or so) I'm going to sit down and, aside from studying Japanese, seriously work on books to sell. One's going to be a Japanese-Esperanto/English dictionary for learners that's actually GOOD (ex. shows what each kanji means + explains the logic behind what they say), and most of the words I already have the definitions written down for and can just copy-paste, so it shouldn't take all that long.
She can function, she's not actually laying around in bed all day, the dishes and laundry get done etc. The problem is... in some ways she really can't function. She's super stressed out CONSTANTLY, feels sick a lot and gets pretty paranoid (the worse she feels, the more paranoid she gets), and has stuff like huge social phobia (she tends to do stuff like simply not answer the phone, even when she knows it's a doctor - but she can talk to that doctor in person) so does things like takes an hour or two to write an Email. But based on my experience of having been on anti-depressants for years, and then (unrelated but it is what I eventually did) switching to just eating healthy, the food works a billion times better than the antidepressants.
Quitting the sugar / processed foods was a huge help but I'm also feeling myself get more and more "normal" the more (or more often) fermented foods I eat. It feels kind of like, the processed stuff gave you this problem so quitting them "stops" the problem from getting worse, but fermented foods are what's actually healing you - which fits perfectly in line with what I've read about "gut health" and your stomach bacteria controlling your moods, but it's a whole 'nother thing to actually experience it over time. It's not just physically, it's EMOTIONALLY, like you don't get angry anywhere near as fast, you can concentrate better, have tons more motivation (in the past it was like I had a mental block to doing things. Now doing something like chores is just "easy" and "not a problem"), and last but not least are more "awake" when you're awake. The more good stuff I eat the more I'm able to focus on just being productive and brush off failure, and it's just coming naturally.
And now that I'm forcing her to eat something fermented every day I keep asking her every day if she's feeling any better, and she actually is (and it's only been what, 3 days?) so things are looking up.
Oh and the unemployment office has FINALLY, MAYBE gotten her a part-time job at a local stable now, that or they'll give her an internship (basically unpaid but they'll cover your travel costs at least) at a second-hand shop, and she loves horses and also likes second-hand shops so hopefully one of those will come through. The problem now is that since we're going to Japan in probably August, they might not want to hire her just because they want a more long-term employee.